Over the weekend, my wife admitted that she briefed looked for this blog site last week, but gave up after not finding anything when searching for “Bittersweet”. This was a suprising disclosure, since it showed that she was still thinking about the ‘condition’, despite the agreement to have a break from talking about it. This led to an interesting discussion, in which I shared some of the insightful comments I have received from readers and some of the words of support that have been extremely helpful (Thank you everyone). The chat was constructive, non-threatening and cozy, as I shared how this blog was an example of the work that I am doing to help myself and our family to navigate through this challenge.
My wife clarified that she doesn’t think she’s ready yet to read this blog – I fully agree. After seeing warnings on other blogs, that content may possibly trigger strong reactions, even severe episodes, I think our situation needs to be a little more stable. Also, I emphasized that it would be recommended to read the blog together with me and also have therapy session scheduled for same or next day, to help process any intense feelings. Does anyone have any other suggestions to be better prepared, before my wife decides to read this blog?
For example, my wife inferred that it might upset her to see the word “bipolar” in my blog posts, so I jokingly said that I could change the word ‘bipolar’ to ‘PTSD’ everywhere that it appeared. That might be a bit confusing if I did that, especially for the last sentence I just wrote! But seriously, at this stage, I am not so fixed on my wife accepting that we are dealing with that specific ‘condition’, however closely it may explain the challenges we have been facing, but rather that we focus on general self awareness about mood changes, and its effect on our relationship, family dynamics and her general daily functioning.
My wife reluctance to accept that particular label, while somewhat understandable, has not been fully explained. She has expressed ideas like “What if it’s not really bipolar”, which happened to be exactly the title of a recent post by one of my new blogasphere friends, BipolarFirst. This blogger has her own unique way of expressing herself, sometimes her written posts errily sound like they’ve been recorded word-for-word from what my wife has said to me!