(Please welcome my wife to this blog – leave comment below)
I don’t want to give it a name or call it a disease or illness, but … I admit – I need help!!! Whatever it is that’s making it so difficult for me/us, I need help in routine structure, self-discipline, overcoming procrastination, doing fundamental tasks even if I don’t want to or don’t feel like it or even feel like “I can’t”, and I need help to deal with my feelings from overwhelming me and getting in the way of my day-to-day functioning. I also need help not to make excuses to not do tasks that need doing, even an excuse like “you can’t help it” or “it’s not your fault”. And I need help in learning to love and accept myself.
Please don’t show me this as a way to remind me of what I said when I don’t feel like that sometimes. Just gently and loving me help me to achieve these goals – slowly but surely with a plan and with patience, not force and harshness and not lots of talking at me or analyzing at me…. You also need help with all this even if on less of a scale or even if less just because you are less at home (and not because you have less of this problem – coz maybe you also have this problem just as much but it’s not seen as much because your not here to have it exposed as much). So let’s see this as a challenge that we both have and let’s work on it together. Emphasising patience, love understanding, slow soft and gentle speech…
ps: I also acknowledge that it is difficult to communicate with me and I can imagine how it affects you in feeling like you don’t know what to say, how to say it and whether to say something or not, and whether I’m going to blow up at you or not, so I’m sorry about causing that difficulty and pain for you … And I would also like to acknowledge what a wonderful husband you are – always trying, never giving up, enduring through it all, overall not giving up hope, constantly working on yourself and our relationship … I see your growth and your change and I’m so blessed to have a husband that does that kind of spiritual emotional and physical work and that loves me so much despite all my deficits and my “perfect imperfections”.
As you have always expressed hope about, I am hopeful that all this is only going to bring us closer in our relationship as we work together and gain a deeper understanding of one another and grow together thru these challenges.
Thank you for being you.
Love Me 😉