Tags
blog, blogging, blogging therapy, catharsis, exhibitionism, exposing onself, flashing, journalling, Mental Health, virtual voyeurism, voyeurism
Note: after you leave comment here, check out my latest Funny Friday – it’s related to this.
When I shared my recent flashback post with my wife before posting in the blogosphere, she questioned the appropriateness of sharing such personal feelings online, but ‘approved it’ before I published. Her sensative nature is actually very positive, challenging me to look deeply at myself, and keeps me honest about doing things for the right reasons.
Depending on her mood, her attitude about blogging vacillates between ambivalent and positive – not usually negative. The issue I introduce below, triggered from her reaction to my recent post, could be interpreted as a negative perspective, but this is not generally where she’s holding.
Is reading other peoples personal blogs like virtual voyeurism? Is blogging personal feelings about health issues, relationships and family issues, like virtual exhibitionism (flashing, mooning, exposing onself)?
I think a great example of this is my friend Jess, who has some very graphic posts (without pictures) about her struggles with hypersexuality, associated with bipolar disorder. I don’t think she’ll be upset with me referencing her, at least not while she’s hypomanic! But I wonder how many readers feel a little ‘voyeuristic’ when reading her account of infidelity. And besides the standard warning about potential triggering, Jess feels the need to infer that she’s not trying to be an ‘exhibitionist’ when she writes: “I don’t write this shit to sell myself” or “for blog traffic”.
When you consider these above questions (in bold), you might have some strong reactions – tell me about it in comments.
My initial reaction was that these loaded questions can only be coming from someone who has never experienced blogging directly, someone who doesn’t understand the blogosphere community. But it’s interesting to hear perspectives like this, which can help clarify what are the aspects of blogging that make it a health-promoting activity and not a deviant club of perverts.
Can we just explain to someone with these negative concerns that they simply need to try it out to reveal their distorted perspective, or is there a more intellectual response that could adequately describe the differences between:
- Friendship vs Flirting/flashing
- EXtending a hand vs EXposing onself
- Developing community vs Degrading the family unit
- Caring vs Curious
- Being supportive vs Being nosey
- A Therapeutic activity vs A Teasing / Traumatic / Tiggering activity
As usual, I appreciate the time you took in reading these ramblings – if you have any feedback, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Don’t forget: my latest Funny Friday posts (& Cell Phone Addiction Humor). Have a great day.
Dialogue from the Depths 
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Reblogged this on survivor road and commented:
Worthy of thought – take a look
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These are thoughts that I have had myself. Both in terms of how much I post of myself and family on my blog and in response to reading what other people write. There are times that it feels someone is doing so much “exposing” as an attempt to gain attention and the voyeuristic attentions of the public. Other times I can see that this is just a way to talk to people and educate them. It is a fine line at times. I am careful to look at my own motives for posting about certain things. And am especially careful when it has anything to do with my extended family. I think I have offended a family member as they no longer contact me or take my phone calls. It can be difficult though to be balanced about what you can talk about and how it involves others.
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Hi Pavanneh,
Thanks for reading and commenting. I can see these thoughts are probably quite common in the blogosphere, but I don’t think many people want to admit it, (by commenting here). I noticed from your About page, you share a similar sentiment:
“Essentially living vicariously through their stories. Sounds kind of stalkerish (my own take on the word) and creepy, but when you can’t afford to travel, you have to make due”.
I think you are spot on about it being a fine line. I appreciate my wife for bringing this issue to my attention. I look forward to hearing more about your blogging experiences, when I check out more of your blog.
Cheers
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I see blogging as an advanced form of discussion that began in the early 1970’s when
“Consciousness raising’ became marathon ‘encounter groups’.
I participated in these groups after I volunteered to work on a suicide prevention line.
This was the period when the first ‘hotlines’ were established.
I met a lifelong friend this way.
We recently discussed the ways in which these encounter groups changed us.
One was that we became completely comfortable with all aspects of ourselves. We also discovered that many people live in silent shame over things they would not have wished on themselves;
A woman who wants to kill herself because her Father raped her and told her she was to blame or a man who is conflicted in all of his relationships in the aftermath of abuse.
People with mental illnesses and psychological scars tend to retreat from the world and to live in isolation. Our stories are often mediated and reinterpreted by professionals who don’t understand us as people.
I had mixed feelings about writing so openly about my DID and the events that caused it until I began to get comments from people who thanked me for giving them permission to examine their own abuse and the effect it had on their lives.
It is healing to tell and to hear the truth.
There are probably people whose intention is exhibitionism.
I’ve noticed that online exhibitionism is pretty much the same as it is in real life: usually nude shots and graphic depictions of virtual sex that have no real aesthetic value and are usually posted to forums in which the participants have clearly stated that they don’t want to see them.
No is yes to an exhibitionist.
And I think this is the difference between an exhibitionist and someone who is simply describing his story.
An exhibitionist exposes by posting to sites where the topic isn’t welcome.
A personal statement that might provide insight to someone from a similar background is usually posted and discovered by people who already have an interest in the topic.
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Thanks Robert for reading and the time you took to comment.
I think your observation about online exhibitionism, being pretty much the same as in real life, makes sense to me. I guess that online, people can hide behind anonimity more easily and get access to more places “where the topic isn’t welcome”. Not much can be done about this, except for usual blog protections and owner moderation.
I agree that Dissociative Identity Disorder is so poorly understood – your role in demystifying the condition is extremely important.
Take care. Looking forward to checking out more of your blog shortly.
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Thank you for reading the post and leaving a comment. I hope that I am helping to demystify DID.
I must confess that there are times when it still mystifies me.
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I don’t feel voyeuristic reading other personal posts except when maybe the divulge step-by-step sexual stories. Anything else personal makes me feel like I’m reading a memoir or something like that – so ask this question: If this same content were in a book, telling a non-fiction story that was backed by a large publishing house, would you feel the Voyeur that way?
Personally, I do try to think of how my readers would like certain posts, but ultimately I started the writing project as a way of cathartic release and my first book was written not with the intent of publishing (more a manuscript to give to my kids one day.) So I don’t feel that what I write would be classified as exhibitionist either, even when I mention anything regarding sex – which is admittedly not much as far as the blog goes.
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Hi Rae,
Thanks for reading and commenting.
I think I just became your 300th follower – do I get a prize?
I am encouraging my wife to consider writing more for it’s cathartic powers. She has written a personal diary on/off for most of her life, but I think a ‘manuscript to give to kids’ and possibly share with the world, sounds like a great idea.
Good luck with you book promotion.
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I tried to keep diaries on and off as well – but had a hard time keeping up with them, but once I had the manuscript project it was a lot easier to focus on and remember to do 🙂 Thanks
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