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Dialogue from the Depths

~ Make Sweetness from the Bitterness

Dialogue from the Depths

Author Archives: bittersweet1976

Share A Poem On Ink and Quill

06 Sunday Mar 2016

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Blogging, poetry, reblog, Relationship

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

blogging, poetry, reblog, Relationship

Special thanks to Jacqui for this Share a Poem, reblogging opportunity… she’s a true lover of poetry and an excellent new blogging networker… check her out, especially is you have poetry to share.
ALSO, if you missed my wife’s awesome poetry reply to me, please read and let us know what you thought.
https://dialogueftdepths.wordpress.com/2016/03/02/im-yours-response-to-tides-vs-waves/

Jennifer Calvert Author

quillShare a link here of your favourite poem/s, which you have written or a poem written by a fellow poet. Or both!

A poem/s which may have moved you, or are close to your heart. A poem, you thought about, long after you finished reading it.

I will repost all links.

As you are probably aware. I love poetry. So I can’t wait to read and share your links.

Please feel free to reblog this post!

I want to support my fellow bloggers, by sharing their work.

A small way of saying I appreciate you.

View original post

I’m Yours: Response to Tides vs Waves

02 Wednesday Mar 2016

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Affirmations, Blogging, Humor, poetry, Relationship

≈ 29 Comments

Tags

acceptance, Blogging Awards, communication, friends, Grateful, humor, love, marriage, poetry, Relationship, thank you, thankfulness

Response to Tides vs Waves


Yes, my friend, I must agree
There’s nothing better than poetry
To soften my heart, and allow me to hear
All the things you’ve shared on the blogosphere

 

Firstly I’d like to let you know
Just how much I love you so
And appreciate all your determination
To fine-tune our hearts to the same ‘station’

Your message is simple and yet so deep
And yes, I am open, and yet I still weep
But the tears are those of being so moved
By the love and the care you so much infuse

I am sorry for my part in the misunderstandings
And I also feel sure that our awareness is expanding
We are learning so much, as we continue to flourish
We‘ve weathered the storms and revealed great courage

I too am so happy with how close we‘ve connected
And I see your concern of it being affected
I see how important it is to be
communicating and sharing constantly

I thank you for all your gratitude and praise
For my hard work in the home that I hope’s not a phase 😉
Your encouragement and smiles make my heart sing
If I am a Queen, then you are my King!

I’m glad to have learned from what we’ve lately discussed,
We are not “you and me”, we are really an “us”
I see it‘s important to carve out time
To share with each other, including in rhyme!

I thank you again for the poem you wrote
The expressions of dedication and love it connotes
This poetic initiative has opened new doors,
I’ve liked all you said and I’ll say “I’m yours!”

Skiing day trip photos and Apology

16 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Affirmations, Blogging, Relationship

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

snow pictures photos sunset

Just a very brief post, to apologise to all those amazing bloggers who wrote such beautiful comments yesterday, in response to my Blog Party post. I plan to respond to each of you, but today I took my boys skiing for the day.

And I just discovered I need to be careful which buttons i press when posting from my phone, because photos weren’t ready yet.  Oops – newbie mistake…

20160216_115251

20160216_115329

20160216_123908.jpg

This last one was taken halfway down a black run, while I was catching my breath. My sons were both ahead, down in that valley, waiting for their ‘old man’….

…and the obligatory sunset photos at the end of the long, tiring day.

20160216_17192220160216_172333

 

 

Reply to Dear Hypomanic Wife

31 Sunday Jan 2016

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Affirmations, poetry, Relationship

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

blogging, communication, growth, hope, journalling, poetry, Relationship

Reply to Dear Hypomanic Wife.  If you haven’t read it yet, read it first.

Made me cry,
Not sure why.
Need some time,
To respond online (or at all…)

In the meantime,
I love you all the time.
No need to be afraid of my reaction,
There will be some positive interaction.

It may get confusing,
But don’t feel we’re losing.
We will talk it through,
And see it through, too.

Thanks for keeping me in your world
We will find from the oyster the shining pearl!

First Time Blogging

21 Thursday Jan 2016

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Blogging, Fleeting insights, Hypomania, Relationship

≈ 30 Comments

Tags

blog, blogging, communication, Goals, gratitude, growth, journalling, Relationship, thank you, thankfulness

Blogging-fancy-name-for-writing-560x560
You-want-to-write-560x560
Source: seeingthelighterside.com

Hi Everyone out there!

This is the first time I am writing directly on this blog. I think, for my “Hubby”, I have made his day and also made a small, but significant, dream of his come true! 😉

Although I haven’t been writing here from me directly, I have allowed my hubby to share things I’ve written or said to him. He has also been sharing with me what he writes here and has also been showing me other people’s posts when he has been inspired by them and feels it would be relevant for me to read too.

A few days ago, he shared the following post by Anxious Mom titled Your So Lucky. What she wrote sounded exactly like it could have come from me – about how lucky I am to have such an amazing, supportive, loyal, loving, dedicated husband who loves me unconditionally and would do anything in his power to help me and make our relationship work and be strong.

He has loved the phrase “perfectly imperfect” (or is being “imperfectly perfect” actually even better?!?)  ever since he first heard it and tells me and thinks I’m just that!

If you read Anxious Mom’s post, just know that everything she says is how I feel about my husband, and also describes what he does when I’m down (or up!) and, I’d just like to say, directly to him –

Hubby, I love you!
I appreciate you!
I thank you!

Lee

You’re So Lucky

21 Thursday Jan 2016

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Affirmations, Blogging, Fleeting insights, Partner Advice, reblog, Relationship

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

blog, blogging, gratitude, growth, journalling, Relationship, thank you, thankfulness

What Anxious Mom wrote sounded exactly like it could have come from me – about how lucky I am to have such an amazing, supportive, loyal, loving, dedicated husband who loves me unconditionally and would do anything in his power to help me and make our relationship work and be strong.

He has loved the phrase “perfectly imperfect” (or is being “imperfectly perfect” actually even better?!?) ever since he first heard it and tells me and thinks I’m just that!

Just know that everything Anxious Mom said is how I feel about my husband, and also describes what he does when I’m down (or up!) and, I’d just like to say, directly to him –
Hubby, I love you!
I appreciate you!
I thank you!

Lee
ps See “First Time Blogging“, 21 Jan, for the full post, and please comment.
pps Hubby asked me to write, but didn’t tell me ‘what to write’ 😉

Bi-Polar Perspective

31 Thursday Dec 2015

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Blogging, Humor, reblog

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Bipolar Disorder, reblog, Relationship

I like this, ALOT. I think my wife will too – I hope. Check out my latest wordpress ‘identity crisis’, New Year posting.
Laughter is definitely critical to well-being. Shit. That reminds me… I’ve got to finish tomorrow’s Funny Friday post. Bye for now.

I Hate it When You’re Moody

30 Wednesday Dec 2015

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Current Crisis, Fleeting insights, Partner Advice, Relationship

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Bipolar Disorder, brave, Depression, journalling, Mental Health, moodiness, moody, rollercoaster

Warning:  Intense emotions expressed here – potential triggering.

This was written three months ago, which was 2 weeks before I started blogging regularly. Below is based on the ‘Love Letter Technique’, recommended by John Gray.  You may relate to some of these feelings & the technique could be helpful for others, but not in all situations. Also, this post is long, a little repetitive (purposely) and SPOILER ALERT, it ends POSITIVELY.

Dear Wife,

I hate it when you’re moody. It’s wearing me down.  I hate that often you don’t even notice it’s happening.  I don’t like it when you ‘mindread’ – this often happens when your mood changes.  I hate not knowing exactly when/what triggers you. I don’t like it when you don’t treat me as a friend – your best friend. I get angry when you assume I am against you, when you don’t give me a chance to clarify, before you get defensive and angry.  I am fed up with the extreme fluctuation in mood, especially that you never acknowledge the severity of the problem.  I hate it when you dismiss my concerns, tell me you are working on things your way, but it always continues.  I don’t like that you don’t seem to see the problem and how it relates to the emotional crisis last year. I want you to take more personal responsibility for this dynamics, before it’s too late.  I am angry that you don’t see how much I LOVE YOU. I hate it when my actions trigger your agitation, anger, moodiness.  I am fed up with you seeing me a controllinh, criticizing or monitoring you. I am worried.  I want you to see me, and treat me as your best friend, trusted partner, as we navigate through this challenging stage of our life / relationship!!!

I feel sad when you’re sad. I feel especially sad when something I do seems to trigger your saddness, anger or irritability.  It hurts when you don’t seem to trust me, when you treat me as an enemy, or someone that is trying to hurt you.  It makes me sad to think that after everything I have done over the last 19 years (especially the last 1.5 yrs) to clearly demonstrate my love, comittment and loyalty to you and us, that you doubt my motivations towards this challenging time.  I need you to see how much your mood is affecting your thinking and reactions towards me.  I feel sad that there has been constant tension around your moods & approach to staying emotionally healthy.  I want us to find a compromise path that acknowledges both our concerns.  It makes me sad to see you suffering needlessly.  I feel sad that it’s so hard for you to see the damage this is causing. It hurts when my concerns are dismissed, denied or responded to defensively. I feel disappointed that something seems to have damaged the intense trust we had for each others perspective. I need you to know, to really really know, how much I love you and how strongly I need for us to get through this together. I want you to trust me more deeply again.

I am afraid you are never going to trust me like that again.  I’m worried that our marrital harmony may get worse or even fall apart.  I need you to feel safe with me. I wish you could be open to how extreme the mood swings can get.  I am afraid you will never become aware of the extent of the problem and the affect it has on our relationship and family.  I am worried the tension around this may do further damage to our relationship and the relationship with the kids.  I am obviously afraid of your mood becoming extremely low like last year.  I don’t want to lose you!  I need you to acknnowledge and take greater responsibility for this problem, before another crisis.  I am worried that we might not be able to survive with our family intact.

I am sorry that my worries / concerns upset you so much. I am sorry that this moodiness issue is happening to us – I know it’s NOT your fault.  I’m sorry I am not saying / doing whatever you need from me when you are emotional.  (I am sorry I do not know better what it is you need at those times).  I want us to work out a compromise path that can build back our mutual trust.  I feel bad for making you feel dragged to psychiatrist / psychologist. I am sorry for the distress this causes you.  I only wish that there was another way.  I am sorry this is so scary, particularly being made to feel ‘crazy’.  I am sorry I can’t just put the previous crisis behind us & move forward. I am sorry the moods affect me so much.  I wish I could be somehow stronger to create the space to receive that negative energy.  I am sorry I can’t just accept the moddiness – you mean too much to me, to allow this to destroy us.  I need you to understand and trust my motivations as best friends, soul mates.

I love you and your sensitivities. I love when you hold me and kiss me.  I love going on date nights with you.  I have never stopped loving you for a second, even during this emotional crisis.  I support you in expressing your feelings and approach to this situation, but I can’t accept the distructive dynamic tearing us apart.  I understand you feel threatened and frustrated when your mood is discussed.  I don’t blame you at all, but I need you to trust me much more.  You can be so SWEET, but also so BITTER.  I think we can get through this together, if we work together.  I promise to be open to your concerns and beliefs about our path forward.  You are so creative, caring and compassionate.  I love you and want you to love me as deeply. I know we can do it.  Please, please work with me to rebuild our trust and vessels to contain all the Divine connection we have the potential to acheive.  There is much more I’d like to add, but you already finished your letter.  Looking forward to continue sharing my love with YOU!


CURRENT NOTES:

  • This is only a one-sided perspective.  My wife has her own strong feelings about the situation which are obviously relevant.
  • I am not perfect.  I have my own issues with communication and blocked emotions that I need to work through.  I even had a recent psychiatrist evaluation, encouraged by my wife’s repeated suggestion (more on this soon).
  • Our situation is currently much more stable, since my wife developed partial insight.  But after a tough morning like today, it’s good to remind myself and my wife of how far we have come over a relatively short period of time.

 

Semi-Stable Satisfied Sunday

27 Sunday Dec 2015

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Affirmations, Partner Advice, Relationship

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Relationship

I added one more line to my lastest Funny Friday posting.

You know your wife is addicted to her cell phone when:  You show her jokes about cell phone addiction and she doesn’t laugh!

That’s what happened to me last night.  At least I can appreciate she didn’t get angry.  Also, I can be hopeful that it planted a seed for her to become more self aware – which was demonstrated a recent Whatsapp message to me:

I’m going to make orange juice and then jog, After I’ve satisfied my phone addiction craving.

Besides the ongoing cell phone addiction difficulties, our relationship and life generally is fairly stable, THANKFULLY.  But there’s plenty of work we still need to do to develop a holistic management plan for our depression, as I reflected on 2 weeks ago in a flashback.  My difficulty is how to make this happen without triggering an unpleasant mood shift.

I suppose it’s always helpful to lead with the positive, to keep the discussion constructive and forward focussed.  So today, I will just try a thankfulness ‘creative writing exercise’ to share with my wife (and you wonderful bloggers), before suggesting we proceed with developing symptom lists (which I started on my own 3 months ago) and ‘what works’ strategies.

TODAY: I want to say “Thank you” to my wife for being:

  • Appreciative
  • Beautiful
  • Caring & Crazy (in a good way!)
  • Devoted
  • Exciting
  • Funny
  • Gorgeous
  • Helpful
  • Invaluable
  • Joyful
  • Kindhearted
  • Loving
  • Monogomous
  • Nurturing
  • Optimistic
  • Patient
  • Questioning
  • Responsible
  • Scintillating
  • Tenacious
  • Understanding
  • Virtuous
  • Warm
  • Xendochial
  • Youthful
  • Zesty

Tip:  If you want to try this for your partner, check out adjectivesstarting.com… it was very helpful.

Xendochial  (if you knew the meaning, without looking it up, let me know) 😛

Women are Crazy (The way to lose your female readers)

27 Sunday Dec 2015

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Blogging, Partner Advice, reblog, Relationship

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

blogging, reblog, Relationship

Mine is a relationship blog & I love this posting. Always helpful to take a humorous look at our pattern of male/female differences, so they can bind us (like magnetism), rather than destroy like an uncontrolled nuclear explosion.

My wife is NOT crazy.  She is Appreciative, Beautiful, Caring & more: Click here to read the rest….

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