I’m Yours: Response to Tides vs Waves

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Response to Tides vs Waves


Yes, my friend, I must agree
There’s nothing better than poetry
To soften my heart, and allow me to hear
All the things you’ve shared on the blogosphere

 

Firstly I’d like to let you know
Just how much I love you so
And appreciate all your determination
To fine-tune our hearts to the same ‘station’

Your message is simple and yet so deep
And yes, I am open, and yet I still weep
But the tears are those of being so moved
By the love and the care you so much infuse

I am sorry for my part in the misunderstandings
And I also feel sure that our awareness is expanding
We are learning so much, as we continue to flourish
Weve weathered the storms and revealed great courage

I too am so happy with how close weve connected
And I see your concern of it being affected
I see how important it is to be
communicating and sharing constantly

I thank you for all your gratitude and praise
For my hard work in the home that I hope’s not a phase 😉
Your encouragement and smiles make my heart sing
If I am a Queen, then you are my King!

I’m glad to have learned from what we’ve lately discussed,
We are not “you and me”, we are really an “us”
I see its important to carve out time
To share with each other, including in rhyme!

I thank you again for the poem you wrote
The expressions of dedication and love it connotes
This poetic initiative has opened new doors,
I’ve liked all you said and I’ll say “I’m yours!”

Tides vs Waves (Manic Monday Poetry)

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Is poetry a gentler way to say
what’s on my mind,
especially if you expect something not-so-kind?

I’m really not sure
but I’m going to try
Trying is something I’ll continue
Till the day I die.

My words may be simple
but my message is deep
I am hoping that you’ll be open
or we’re both likely to weep.

You from hurt,
me from frustration…
but the misunderstanding
comes from not being at the same ‘station’

Our intimacy has been strong
Our closeness, I adore
And when it lessens, even slightly
I notice… that’s for sure.

With all that we’ve had to deal with
It’s pretty amazing how good things have been,
Trust me – it’s not just ‘couple therapy’ homework,
When I say that I notice your efforts in becoming Queen.  😛

Tide2

 

Normal for our connection to rise and fall (and rise…)

Hoping that it’s a Tide, waxing & waning like the moon

and not like stormy Waves,

which are strong and powerful, but crash like a (broken) hot-air balloon!   😉200w

 

 

 


Source: theketelsens.blogspot.com & giphy.com

When life gets busy and moves real fast
I know you can manage, you always do
But ensuring time for ‘us
Is some essential glue too!

Sharing with honesty and openness always
is certainly a must.
We’ve seen what can happen,
when we lose that trust. 😦

As I’ve told you about a month ago
you don’t need to be afraid of me.
Slow down, slow down” is all that needs to be said
Hoping you can still hear it, A.S.A.P.

If I expressed this bad
you can blame it on the rhyme
but if you like what I said
then you can say: “You’re mine!” 😀

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

FOR WIFE’S REPLY – CLICK HERE

Divorce is NOT Funny (Friday)

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Source: joyreactor.com

Today I’m going to keep intro brief, but add a few comments occasionally.  I just wanted to remind everyone – if you have suggestion for a theme for Funny Friday, please let me know in the comments.  Today’s theme came from yesterday’s post about being a Child of Divorce.

Like the last couple weeks (Poetry and Death), the divorce theme had alot of material available. I hope you enjoy my selected jokes and memes.   Apologies if anyone is offended. I purposely tried to stay away from the subject of infidelity, with one exception.  Have a great weekend!

Source: pinterest.com & jokideo.com
  • A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager “How much is that new Barbie in the window?” The Manager replied, “Which one? We have ‘Barbie goes to the gym’ for $19.95 ….’Barbie goes to the Ball’ for $19.95 ….’Barbie goes shopping’ for $19.95 ….’Barbie goes to the beach’ for $19.95 ….’Barbie goes to the Nightclub’ for $19.95 ….and ‘Divorced Barbie’ for $375.00”. “Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95”? Dad asked surprised. “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s House, Ken’s boat, Ken’s dog, Ken’s cat and Ken’s furniture.”
  • A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced five husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom? “How can that be if you’ve been married five times?” “Well, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband 2 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband 3 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband 4 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it. Husband 5 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!” “Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?” “You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”
Source: divorcehq.com & jokideo.com
Source: www9.trendfromf.tkjokideo.com

I don’t believe this could be true…

cheap-divorce-coupon

Source: menswomenshumor.wordpress.com

THE FIRST ONE HERE WAS MY ONLY EXCEPTION RE INFIDELITY

  • Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse.  Mickey spoke to the judge about separation.  “I’m sorry Mickey, but I can’t legally separate you you on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane…”  Mickey replied, “I didn’t say she was mentally insane, I said that she’s fucking goofy!”
  • After being married for 30 years, a man took a look at his wife and said, “Honey, do you realize 30 years ago, I had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a pull out bed and watched a 13 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 51 year old blonde. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.”    Now the wife, a very reasonable woman, told him to go out and find a hot 21 year old blonde, and she would make sure that he would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and if he was lucky he would have a small television to watch.
Source: hudo.comjokes4us.com
Source: jokideo.com

Different Types of Sex

The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it until you’re blue in the face. The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you’ll have sex anywhere, anytime. Including the kitchen. The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You’ve calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you’ve got to do it in the bedroom. The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, “Screw you!” There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the court.

Source: jokideo.com

divorce-screw

Source: lawyer-jokes.mytwotails.com

Quotes:

  • Divorce is like passing a kidney stone. It hurts like hell, takes what seems forever to pass, results in an enormous bill, and men will always think they have something great to show for it when they get to keep the worthless stone. – Mary Godwin
  • Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
Source: divorcehq.com

 

This first video was meant to be part of Death is NOT Funny –  Enjoy 😉

 

 

 

Marriage Mentality: Child of Divorce

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At the beginning of this week, the writing for the post ran freely, but I couldn’t think of a suitable title (Insert Title Here), and today I am so clear about title (Marriage Mentality: Child of Divorce), but I don’t know what to write… where to start?!

Here’s the reason…  This is such a big, important issue, I have discovered I know very little about.  The more I explored this topic, the more I realized the multitude of research that is out there – how could I possibly synthesize a useful summary for readers?

Now that you know you are not going to get that, I feel freer to share my own limited anecdotal insights.

These insights come from the couple therapy work, we have been doing over the last couple months.  After only 2 sessions, the therapist perceptively noted that much of our tension/misunderstandings stem from an absence of a ‘marriage mentality’ between us.  My wife is a child of divorce – a very hostile and divisive separation, with conflict/tension that never fully resolved i.e. far from the ideal amicable divorce.

If, as a child, you watched your parents fighting every day, and later divorcing, you’re going to be affected by their behavior whether you acknowledge it or not.  Dr Carmen Harra

Besides such a divorce being a factor for potential emotional or psychological troubles, without the modelling of a healthy marriage, it makes total sense that my wife would have difficulty relating to ‘marriage mentality’.  It’s not that we hadn’t thought about this over the years, especially during other periods of couple counselling, but the absence of this perspective combined with other current challenges, made it’s importance more clear.  For example, it likely plays a large role in wife’s default thoughts that I am not happy with her, that I’m criticizing or controlling when in my communication, or thinking that we don’t need to discuss many issues that she assumes apparently only affects her.

Explaining ‘marriage mentality’ to someone who has never experienced it, seemed quite a challenge.  So we resorted to trying to find a bunch of synonym phrases: thinking as a couple, unity focussed, “same team” perspective, ‘us’ mentality, perceiving a unit (distinct entity separate from either me or you), and like 2 halves of a single soul!  But there’s a difference from intellectually hearing it, to actually feeling ‘us’. Thinking ‘us’. Being ‘us’.

That was our homework 2 weeks ago and thankfully it’s helping, gradually.  We shared a few really cool marriage tips blog posts and made time to talk nearly every evening.   Actually, this has likely played a big part in our increased closeness and intimacy, like I described at the beginning of this week.

My wife recently reflected on how she felt similar to when we first started ‘going out’ – how we lay in each others arms all day & night, not wanting to sleep, eat or go to university. (Lovesick)

There is much more I’d like to share, especially after this week’s therapy session, but I try to keep my posts under 500 words 🙂 and it’s probably best to ‘process it’ more first.

As I was writing this, I just had an interesting final thought. With the background of a conflict-filled childhood divorce, it’s common that:  Conflict breeds more conflict AND Intimacy breeds more intimacy.  The mechanism… marital conflict triggers subconscious memories of childhood parental conflict, which leads to emotional defensive reflexes, weakening the “same team” mentality, which leads to more conflict… 😦  … something to explore next time.

Once again, I have my theme for tomorrow’s Funny Friday post: Divorce is NOT Funny, which happens to be closely related to a suggestion I received from Gary… “Family court and money hungry lawyers is not funny” – hoping it gets smoother for him and his daughter!

One Lovely Blog Award

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I really appreciate MyChildWithin for nominating us for this One Lovely Blog Award.  Her posts are always incredibly insightful and extremely helpful, particularly for anyone dealing with a Narcissistic family member.

It’s been nearly a month since I wrote an award post for The Blogger Recognition Award, and I haven’t yet changed my view… Blog awards evoke a variety of feelings for different bloggers.  I choose to focus on the positive aspects: sharing the love and appreciation of fellow bloggers.  One idea I read recently, was to select nominations from the most recent wordpress notifications – makes alot of sense actually, so I tried it this time.

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  1. Thank the person that nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  2. List the rules.
  3. Display the award on your post of the award.
  4. List seven facts about yourself.
  5. Nominate 15 bloggers for this award and comment on one of their posts to let them know you have nominated them.

Seven facts About Us:

  1. Blogging anonymously, makes it a little difficult to share too many personal facts 😉
  2. We love listening to music by Billy Joel.
  3. I love making soups (tomato, carrot, lentil, chicken) and my wife loves eating them!
  4. I enjoy watching movies, especially comedy or thrillers. My wife recently acquired the passion for a good movie shared together, too.  As my last post mentioned, The Lobster was the most recent one we watched – which was really weird.
  5. We both love icecream – I prefer boring vanilla with hardened chocolate topping, my wife’s favorite choc-mint.
  6. I am considering the idea of writing a book, but I don’t know what I should write about  😛
  7. Our son recently got his drivers license, after a number of attempts (very proud) and he did most of the driving on our ski day trip!

My nominations:

Ink and Quill

A certain point of view

My name is trouble

All Thoughts Work Outdoors

Charlotte Wessels

The Turtle Way

Colette B

That’s what anxious mom said

Paul Thomas Bell

Itsallbuki

My Sweet Nothings

Don Massenzio

Jgoodwithsports

BentonLove

Filosofa’s Word

Insert Title Here (Manic Monday Musings)

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It’s been some time since I wrote about denial, depression or dysphoric mania. Thankfully, we are experiencing a relatively stable period, which has allowed for us to reconnect as a couple in a really special way. My wife recently reflected on how she felt similar to when we first started ‘going out’ – how we lay in each others arms all day & night, not wanting to sleep, eat or go to university. This condition, which might be classified as being ‘lovesick’, was one the factors that led us to defer our studies and travel the world together – me 22 years old and my wife to-be only 20 yo. We got engaged 2 months into our pre-honeymoon, and then returned home 5 months later, got married (shortly after wife’s 21st B’day) and then left again for another 6 months overseas.

I digressed – my focus was on the sensation of riding the current wave of intimate connection, while feeling some mild uncertainty about when the wave may crash. I am not as worried about it this as before, because I confident that we have the tools and resources to get through any rough seas that may be ahead. Compared to 6 months ago, I feel my wife’s mood has stabilized through combination of medications, therapy and self-education, while I have worked on my own communication and stress issues, finding helpful advice and support from this blog, as well as from a close friend.

Another reason I am less worried, is that we have worked on getting perspective on what’s really important in our relationship and for our family in general.  Everyday, there are tragedies with traffic accidents, murders and illness – sorry to sound so grim… but I am sure we all would accept our partners’ annoying moods or bad habits, over losing them completely.  😦

This is one of the messages I took from the weird, satirical depiction of relationships, in the film The Lobster.  I am not surprised by the number of reviews analyzing this truely strange, black comedy, which was actually a little disturbing in parts.  I enjoyed the superficial humor and my wife and I both found interesting aspects, that triggered deeper reflection on our relationship.  I find it amusing that singles and couples both seem to find support for them to continue their current status.  It’s been quite some time since we’ve seen a movie that had this sort of affect – highly recommended! 😉


Note about Title of this post:  I find that coming up with an appropriate title, is one of the most interesting ‘challenges’ of writing a post.  Today, nothing was coming to me, hence my Insert Title HereJust curious – does anyone have any good tips for coming up with catchy post Titles??

Oh… and check out my latest Poetry is NOT Funny post, if you missed it.

Poetry is NOT Funny (Friday)

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Source: imgur.com

Today’s theme was inspired by the Valentine’s Day party ‘poem tag’ activity last weekend – it seems to have unlocked my hidden passion for the challenge of poetic creativity.

Here’s my feeble attempt at poetic humor – a variation of the above ‘roses’ theme:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m not very good at poetry
But at least I try.

  • Why didn’t the angry farmer divorce his wife when she traded
    their prize milking cow for a book of poetry?
    Because he vowed to love her for butter or verse
  • What did the poet say to Luke Skywalker?
    Metaphors be with you.
  • Why are poets always so poor?
    Because rhyme doesn’t pay.
  • What do you get when you combine Robert Frost and James Bond?
    The Road Not Shaken but Stirred.
Source: allanwolf.com
Source: voella.com, wordsandtoons.com & pics-about-space.com

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city and attached the following message to his windshield: “I’ve circled this block 10 times. I have an appointment to keep. Forgive our trespasses.”

When he returned to his car he found this reply attached to his own note, along with a ticket: “I’ve circled this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket, I lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.”


The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Berkeley graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu.”

First to recite his poem was the Berkeley graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a huntin’ went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

Source: poetryfountain.com

Heres-a-poem418228_369878789751928_750097832_n.jpgSource: jokideo.com

QUOTES

silent-poetry

 

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Source: saboteur365.wordpress.com, quotehd.com & pinterest.com

FINALLY… an oldie, but a goodie, apparently written by ?Malcom X

Poem-by-an-african

Source: jokideo.com

Pride and Growth

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Unconditional_Love

Image: riseearth.com

Poetry inspired by chat with wife this morning

What are you thinking,
You say do not know.
I ask again for you to share,
because this is no show.

Slowly the words begin to flow,
from I don’t know where.
You share much about your work,
I really DO care.

Now you have so much to say
when can I respond.
I hear a potential opportunity,
I really don’t wish to abscond.

But I say something wrong,
or at least not quite right.
Thankfully, I was relieved
it did not start a fight.

You tell me after,
what you needed to hear.
I appreciate this greatly,
because it’s not always clear.

So instead of repeating,
exactly what you said to me.
I thought about rhyming it,
So you would really, really see…

I am proud of you, with all that you do,
with teaching drama, house cleaning and being Mom,
No matter which shoes.

I see the growth in your confidence,
and stronger organisational skills.
Especially the connection between us
really gives me the thrills.

Let me finish by saying
how much I love you.
It can’t be said too much
Because it’s so true.


 

Source: quotesgram.com & quoteaddicts.com

Now I know what tomorrow’s theme for Funny Friday will be: Poetry is NOT Funny (preview below) 0515114dffab35781749e809d8bc65c55474e5-wm.jpg

Source: whisper.sh

A Must Read Tag-along Poem Cooked By All Of Us… Tuesday Trivia

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Well, here it is… The tag-along poem you’ve all been waiting for. Special thanks Jacqueline for arranging the exercise and hosting the party too.

I am constantly amazed at the new & creative ways to bring the blogosphere to ‘life’, promoting connection, love and support.

a cooking pot and twisted tales

acookingpotandtwistedtales

Her eyes shone with tears

That clung to her lashes

She glanced at the ring

It’s twinkles brought back flashes

 Seeking you first

She knew in her heart,

she’d never forget this day.

The emotions she felt,

overwhelming- in a way.

Gradmama

–blue shoes and sashes 

 Melinda Kucsera

she knew where the stash is–

of chocolates liquor splashed,

frosted with white slashes… 

Elihu

Memories were there

Of Love and of laughter

A future there too

Of happily ever after 

Oba Kingsoracle

At last, he said it

It seemed like forever

But here and now

Her heart for him to keep

Forever.

Writersdream9

She was anticipating all the joy he would bring 

Sarah C

As the band struck a tune….

was it too soon?

the cat crossed their path quickly

And then it was time for giggling 

Noirfifre

She spent all that time, years

she would never…

View original post 284 more words

Skiing day trip photos and Apology

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Just a very brief post, to apologise to all those amazing bloggers who wrote such beautiful comments yesterday, in response to my Blog Party post. I plan to respond to each of you, but today I took my boys skiing for the day.

And I just discovered I need to be careful which buttons i press when posting from my phone, because photos weren’t ready yet.  Oops – newbie mistake…

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This last one was taken halfway down a black run, while I was catching my breath. My sons were both ahead, down in that valley, waiting for their ‘old man’….

…and the obligatory sunset photos at the end of the long, tiring day.

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