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Tag Archives: Funny friday

Love is NOT Funny (Friday)

11 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by hubby1974 in Humor, Partner Advice, Relationship

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

communication, Funny friday, humor, Not Funny series, Relationship

funny-memes-hope-you-dont-mind-my-love

Source: funnymeme.com

Firsly, I am currently feeling a bit run down from a mild sinus infection, so it’s a little hard to ‘feel’ the humor – I hope you find something funny. 😉  There was lots to choose from, especially humorous quotes – which inspired me to create my own quote:

If you laugh at life, life will give you more to laugh at.

After a quick search online, I didn’t find that anyone else had ‘said’ this before (please correct me, if I’m wrong).

Today’s theme, obviously comes from the recent LOVE poetry, that has been flowing from me and my wife.

Finally, when I looked back on earlier posts in this Not Funny© series, I noticed they have got longer and longer… which might be okay if you they’re funny, or you’re bored, but I will try keep it more succinct… next week. 😛

love-jokes-sms
How-love-works-comics
love-a-woman-funny-meme-pics
Source: humminglove.com, thefunnyplace.org & bajiroo.com

This first joke, is a good addition to last week’s Funny Friday post: Sex jokes is NOT Funny…

  • A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, “Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn’t five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!” The doctor says, “I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.” “Nah,” she says, “that’s okay. We’re never going back to that restaurant anyway.”
  • Wife: “How would you describe me?”
    Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
    Wife: “What does that mean?”
    Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
    Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
    Husband: “I’m just kidding!”
  • A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
Source: laughfactory.com
funny-memes-true-love
hurt
I-Knew-I-Loved-You-Funny-Image
Source: funnymeme.com, rishikajain.com & askideas.com
  • You’re like my asthma – you take my breath away.
    Like dandruff – I can’t get you off my head.
    Like my car – you drive me crazy.
    Like dentures – I can’t smile without you.
  • You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
  • Never laugh at your partner’s choices… you’re one of them.
  • Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
  • Never break someone’s heart because they have only one inside…break their bones because they have 206 of them.
  • I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
Source:  greatcleanjokes.com & onelinefun.com
Love-Is-Having-Thing-In-Common-Funny-Cartoon
In-Love-And-Really-Love-Funny-Image
Source: askideas.com

QUOTES:

funniest-love-quotes
famous-quotes-about-love-life-happiness

1386688181334231

Source: sayingimages.com, & imgfave.com
  • Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.  Richard Jeni
  • Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. – George Burns
  • The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather loved in spite of ourselves. – Victor Hugo
DONE10
friendship-quotes
Source: yourtango.com & hdquotespics.com

LASTLY, a couple of videos – Have a great weekend!

 

WARNING – lots of swearing/cursing… don’t watch if you don’t like the F – word.

 

Not Funny© Series

06 Sunday Mar 2016

Posted by hubby1974 in Blogging, Humor

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

blog, Funny friday, humor, Not Funny series

eliminate-underarm-odor-1
pms
sex-addict-sign
comics-addiction-smartphone-dependence-1893623
images (2)
OCD - Eye Doctor
im-right-there-with-you-bud_c_847064
e3725544cc6cb8ef25062c283259085d6aab679f41457751e763593deaea32a6
social-media-marriage-counseling
women_jokes2
sign-instant-death-wires-newcastle-1118807
KT7xih7h
b6270b3bf9c6295cb85e6bc7939b9afd
73dd677430d3b8510ab1c27f5a8130a37100344378b1bda9c31830711d9cdecc

 

 

List of my Not Funny© Funny Friday posts: if you missed any of these, check them out now.

Reminder: If you can suggest any themes that you’d like to see in a Funny Friday post, let me know in comments.

  1. Funny Friday
  2. PMS is not Funny
  3. Hypersexuality is not Funny
  4. Cell phone addiction is not Funny
  5. House cleaning is not Funny
  6. OCD is not Funny
  7. Hypomania is not Funny
  8. Sleep deprivation is not Funny
  9. Couple therapy is not Funny
  10. Apologies are not Funny
  11. Death is not Funny
  12. Poetry is not Funny
  13. Divorce is not Funny
  14. Sex jokes are not Funny
  15. Love is not Funny

 

Sex jokes are NOT Funny (Friday)

04 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by hubby1974 in Blogging, Humor

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Funny friday

73dd677430d3b8510ab1c27f5a8130a37100344378b1bda9c31830711d9cdecc

Source: quickmeme.com

Firstly, have you read my wife’s latest poetic reply to me??  I’m Yours: Response to Tides vs Waves

Do not read any further until you check out this link and let us know what you think  😉  , please…

… then I’ll share with you how Laughter can Improve Your Sex Life

Laughter through humor and ‘ laughter yoga’ are separate themes, that I’ll explore in more detail later, but for now… a summary of how laughing at today’s post might help you in bed tonight. 😉 😉 (wink, wink)

Summary: Laughter reduces stress and anxiety, relaxing the bedroom mood. In ‘laughter clubs’, they recommend starting with pretend laughs, until real ones come.  This ‘fake it till we make it’ approach can help with sex too sometimes.  Practice makes perfect, for laughing and achieving sexual satisfaction. Laughter promotes increased neuropathways in your body, enhancing pleasurable sensations.  Despite what you might think, you don’t always have to be in the mood before you do something.  Sometimes, we can start with the action (laughing or sex) and the mood will follow.

Sex-jokes-are-not-funny-period-Haha-Lol-Bruh-Its
I-used-to-have-sex-daily-.jpg.330
Source: boldomatic.com & jokesoftheday.net

Hypersexuality is NOT Funny, was one of the first posts in this Not Funny © series.  It was short and relevant to that time.  This post is connected to the increased intimacy recently between me and my wife – maybe all the ‘intimate’ poetry has something to do with it, too.

Sex Sells, so let me try ‘sell’ you some jokes/memes to make you smile, or preferably laugh. 😀 😀 😀


A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, “Mum, what’s sex?” His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, “Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?”

The doctor thoroughly examines the stuttering man and pronounces the root of the problem to be the man’s gigantic penis causing strain on the vocal chords from the effects of gravity being transmitted up to the neck area. The patient then asks, “wh-wh-at c-c-ca-an b-b-e d-d-done ab-b-bout- t-t i-i- t?” to which the doctor replies, “We can replace your penis with one of normal size and the stuttering will disappear right after the operation.” As promised his stuttering dissapears, but 3 months later the patient complains: “My wife really misses a big penis so I’ve decided to get my old one back and live with stuttering for the rest of my life.” The doctor then looks straight at the man and replies, “c-c-can’t!! a d-d- de-deal’s a d-d-deal.”

Being that I’m a physician, I really enjoyed this doctor-themed one

Source: psychologyhelp.com
Sex_f8950a_416410
bbd6a1d2cf844b610a476a9ced169af3
Source: funnyjunk.com & pinterest.com

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop from a gypsy, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust line forty four”.
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says “Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!”.
Again, there’s a bright flash…and his legs fall off.

Source: jokes4us.com

2sVeM2D.png

  • Wife: Honey, I’m naked and the dog is loose in the front yard!
    Husband: No problem, I’ll be right up!
  • A man came home early from work and was greeted by his wife who was dressed in sexy lingerie and heels. “Tie me up and you can do anything you want!” she said. So he tied her up and went golfing.
Source: esmartass.com
funny-card-quote-pictures-great-way-to-spice-up-sex
12ce121d96675c8141fa6356de19311a
Source: theredheadriter.com

I laughed with tears, with this one…

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.” That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, “Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air.”

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.” Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?” The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

Source: laughfactory.com

QUOTES:

20140408-203342
e78a1d2fa2e158cf886ffac349d7788d
quote-according-to-a-new-survey-women-say-they-feel-more-comfortable-undressing-in-front-of-robert-de-niro-59-25-36
Source: bekkysworld.wordpress.com, jarofquotes.com & azquotes.com

And finally, this is the most important part of the respected Mayo Clinic psychometric test.

In the following pictures you see women with a range of
facial expressions.  Study the expressions, and try to imagine what is taking place?

Then scroll down to see the answer…

pic1

 

9TzrMkLTE

They are all about to sneeze

pic2

Source: tizona.wordpress.com

Congratulations for making it to the end of this marathon joke post.  Let me know what you thought…. and have a wonderful weekend!

Poetry is NOT Funny (Friday)

20 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by hubby1974 in Blogging, Humor, poetry

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

blog, blogging, communication, Funny friday, humor, Jokes, poetry, Valentines Day

KT7xih7h.jpg

Source: imgur.com

Today’s theme was inspired by the Valentine’s Day party ‘poem tag’ activity last weekend – it seems to have unlocked my hidden passion for the challenge of poetic creativity.

Here’s my feeble attempt at poetic humor – a variation of the above ‘roses’ theme:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m not very good at poetry
But at least I try.

  • Why didn’t the angry farmer divorce his wife when she traded
    their prize milking cow for a book of poetry?
    Because he vowed to love her for butter or verse
  • What did the poet say to Luke Skywalker?
    Metaphors be with you.
  • Why are poets always so poor?
    Because rhyme doesn’t pay.
  • What do you get when you combine Robert Frost and James Bond?
    The Road Not Shaken but Stirred.
Source: allanwolf.com
VoElla-Poetry-Funny-Poems-448x195
images (4)
funny-poems-002
Source: voella.com, wordsandtoons.com & pics-about-space.com

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city and attached the following message to his windshield: “I’ve circled this block 10 times. I have an appointment to keep. Forgive our trespasses.”

When he returned to his car he found this reply attached to his own note, along with a ticket: “I’ve circled this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket, I lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.”


The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Berkeley graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu.”

First to recite his poem was the Berkeley graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a huntin’ went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

Source: poetryfountain.com

Heres-a-poem418228_369878789751928_750097832_n.jpgSource: jokideo.com

QUOTES

silent-poetry

jean-cocteau-director-poetry-is-indispensable-if-i-only-knew-what (1)
jean-cocteau-poetry-quotes-the-poet-is-a-liar-who-always-speaks-the

 

c68c9fb1687ee16eb89de4a626440209

Source: saboteur365.wordpress.com, quotehd.com & pinterest.com

FINALLY… an oldie, but a goodie, apparently written by ?Malcom X

Poem-by-an-african

Source: jokideo.com

PMS is not FUNNY (FRIDAY)

11 Friday Dec 2015

Posted by bittersweet1976 in Humor, Partner Advice, Relationship

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Funny friday, humor, Pms, PreMenstrual

PreMenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is not a joke and I apologize in advance if anyone is offended, but as someone on the receiving end of it, most months, I think that humor still has its place.

This doesn’t mean PMS is not serious or doesn’t need treatment.  When severe, you should consult with your doctor – they might be able to help.

  • How do you know which medicine is for PMS?  It’s the bottle with teeth marks on it
  • My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods.  We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood it turns green, and when I’m in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his fucking forehead.   Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond!

http://uberhumor.com/mood-ring-lvl-pms

  • Why shouldn’t you lie to a woman with PMS & GPS?  Because she’s a bitch & she will find you.

Source: jokes4us.com  (lots of really bad women’s jokes)

pms

tumblr_nxs7njY2i81uh4umbo1_500

download

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