L.O.V.E. & P.O.E.T.R.Y.

Tags

appreciation, gratitude, growth, journalling, love, poetry, pride, Relationship, thankfulness

 

Source: quotesblog.net

Message from Lee, which inspired Hubby’s poetic reply (below):

I really appreciate you and I feel so proud of my ability to share these things with you and be willing and able to discuss them with you in a calm and loving, sharing way without reacting or feeling threatened or controlled or criticised or told what to do. I also feel proud that I can hear, value, and even more – WANT your opinion and know that I can still have my own and still make my own decision.  I am proud of “us” that we had the conversation that we did this morning, in the WAY that we did. I do believe that we are given these dilemmas and challenges for a reason, and I know that the most important one was to practice and succeed in our communication as we demonstrated this time.

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From Hubby:

L etter

O f

V oluptuous

E cstasy

 

Me writing poetry is quite a feat,

So if you are ready to hear, pull up a seat.

I challenged myself to find words that are succinct,

To express the extent to which I feel we are linked.

 

Our talk this morning didn’t last very long,

But making the most of every opportunity, is never wrong.

I too, am proud of your ability to share,

It’s important to acknowledge it didn’t come from nowhere.

 

See that we’ve worked hard to learn how to talk,

It’s a bit like babies learning to walk.

The WAY we conversed was inspirational indeed,

Gives such confidence that we’re certain to succeed.

 

We don’t need to wait for misunderstandings to write,

Poetry can be appropriate everyday or night.

In summary, I am ecstatic that we’ve removed the ‘boxing glove’,

As a result we’ve found lots and lots of LOVE.  ❤ ❤ ❤

---

P.O.E.T.R.Y

By Lee Sweet ©

P lace
O f
E xpression
T o
R eveal
Y ourself

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One Lovely Blog Award

Tags

Awards, blog, blogging, Blogging Awards, communication, Goals, gratitude, growth, journalling, one lovely blog award, thank you

I really appreciate MyChildWithin for nominating us for this One Lovely Blog Award.  Her posts are always incredibly insightful and extremely helpful, particularly for anyone dealing with a Narcissistic family member.

It’s been nearly a month since I wrote an award post for The Blogger Recognition Award, and I haven’t yet changed my view… Blog awards evoke a variety of feelings for different bloggers.  I choose to focus on the positive aspects: sharing the love and appreciation of fellow bloggers.  One idea I read recently, was to select nominations from the most recent wordpress notifications – makes alot of sense actually, so I tried it this time.

1. Thank the person that nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
2. List the rules.
3. Display the award on your post of the award.
4. List seven facts about yourself.
5. Nominate 15 bloggers for this award and comment on one of their posts to let them know you have nominated them.

Seven facts About Us:

1. Blogging anonymously, makes it a little difficult to share too many personal facts 😉
2. We love listening to music by Billy Joel.
3. I love making soups (tomato, carrot, lentil, chicken) and my wife loves eating them!
4. I enjoy watching movies, especially comedy or thrillers. My wife recently acquired the passion for a good movie shared together, too.  As my last post mentioned, The Lobster was the most recent one we watched – which was really weird.
5. We both love icecream – I prefer boring vanilla with hardened chocolate topping, my wife’s favorite choc-mint.
6. I am considering the idea of writing a book, but I don’t know what I should write about  😛
7. Our son recently got his drivers license, after a number of attempts (very proud) and he did most of the driving on our ski day trip!

My nominations:

Ink and Quill

A certain point of view

My name is trouble

All Thoughts Work Outdoors

Charlotte Wessels

The Turtle Way

Colette B

That’s what anxious mom said

Paul Thomas Bell

Itsallbuki

My Sweet Nothings

Don Massenzio

Jgoodwithsports

BentonLove

Filosofa’s Word

Pride and Growth

Tags

Goals, Grateful, gratitude, growth, help, hope, journalling, love, Relationship, thank you

Image: riseearth.com

Poetry inspired by chat with wife this morning

What are you thinking,
You say do not know.
I ask again for you to share,
because this is no show.

Slowly the words begin to flow,
from I don’t know where.
You share much about your work,
I really DO care.

Now you have so much to say
when can I respond.
I hear a potential opportunity,
I really don’t wish to abscond.

But I say something wrong,
or at least not quite right.
Thankfully, I was relieved
it did not start a fight.

You tell me after,
what you needed to hear.
I appreciate this greatly,
because it’s not always clear.

So instead of repeating,
exactly what you said to me.
I thought about rhyming it,
So you would really, really see…

I am proud of you, with all that you do,
with teaching drama, house cleaning and being Mom,
No matter which shoes.

I see the growth in your confidence,
and stronger organisational skills.
Especially the connection between us
really gives me the thrills.

Let me finish by saying
how much I love you.
It can’t be said too much
Because it’s so true.

---

 

Source: quotesgram.com & quoteaddicts.com

Now I know what tomorrow’s theme for Funny Friday will be: Poetry is NOT Funny (preview below)

Source: whisper.sh

Blog Parties (Manic Monday Musings)

Tags

blog parties, blogging, friends, gratitude, help, humor, parties, shyness, Valentines Day

I have never really enjoyed parties, but it seems that blog parties are different.  You see, I am naturally shy and introverted, which means I get my social nourishment from spending time with 1-2 people at a time.  It’s not that I don’t like people – it’s just that too many people at once feels overwhelming and somewhat draining.

But blog parties are different.  Thanks to Jacqueline, I experienced my first virtual Valentine’s Day party, this weekend.  For entertainment, there was a short humorous video presentation and a ‘slide show’ of delicacies to wet the appetite. My only complaint was that I was more hungry when I left, than when I got there!  There was even a creative poetry game of tag, which I’m looking forward to reading later this week. 😉  (Reblogged here)

When I first sat down I met mliae, who makes a ‘mean’ vegan egg salad, not that I’ve had a chance to try it yet.  I was really moved by Paula’s compliment about my ‘naughty’ poem fragment. She and her husband had tips for running, which was specially helpful for my son who will be running his first half-marathon in 2 weeks.  This son also happens to be vegan – thanks mliae.

Have you ever had your comments marked as spam, or received comments incorrectly placed in your spam?  Funsie has a potential hack for you.  And when Turtle and Diane popped in, the party really heated up.  They are newish, shy (and less shy) bloggers like me, who are also exploring the vast blogosphere oceans.  There are many more bloggers who I met this weekend, but these are the ones that popped by to say “Hi” (or Like 😛 )

Actually,  I attended a couple more ‘parties’ over the weekend, at Danny’s and Jason’s, and there were a number of people who followed me home!  Relationship guru Paul, giggly Stella, and creative author Jens, are all relatively new to the blogosphere and I’m pleased they joined my neighborhood.  Oh… and let’s not forget colorful Collette, and experimental author Don, for their interest in my blog.  Wait… I hear a knock at the door… it’s Itsallbuki, a quiet blogger from Lagos, who has great relationship tips – check her out!

Finally, a special extra mention to Jason for reblogging my epiphany post that sparked off my blog 1.5 years ago.  He continues to be a great blogosphere networker, especially helping us newbies.  I wish him well as he settles into his new house (self-hosted blogging)!

Have a great week, EVERYONE!

Hubby

 

 

 

Boomerang Apologies

Tags

communication, gratitude, growth, Relationship

Relationships are difficult.

Relationships between women and men is more difficult.

Relationships in marriage, with mood disorders, is even more difficult.

Relationship in marriage, with mood disorder, and ME, is most difficult.

BUT, I still believe it’s worth it!

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My wife tells me I am not very good at expressing my emotions.  This is likely to be true, since my wife is always right.  The thing is, I am missing the second X-chromosome (ie I’m male), which apparently helps with these things called feelings.  Don’t misunderstand – I have feelings, but talking about them doesn’t come naturally.  I believe this is quite common for at least 50% of the population – right?

It’s well known that healthy relationships require good communication, and this communication has to be more than just about ‘the weather’ or who’s turn to do the dishes.  So we commit to setting aside time for each other and talking, which inevitably leads to feelings.  I feel couple therapy has helped me learn to share deeper emotions, and I am committed to continual growth in this area.

This introduction, was important to understand the context of the concept of ‘boomerang’ apologies, which I want to ask everyone about.  This might be difficult to describe without specific details, but has anyone experienced recieving an apology from someone, then after responding, the person who initially apologized reacts strongly (such as irritiable/anger), and you are left apologizing to the person who originally apologized to you?!^#*!?

Obviously, you would all be asking the same thing: this interaction all depends on the ‘response‘ of the person who received the apology.  So here it might get even more complicated.  If I receive an apology for something that doesn’t really deserve an apology, but there is something related that needs to be discussed, my underexpressed emotions triggers me to say something, related to my feelings.  In writing this out, I have figured out one obvious solution – appreciate and accept the original apology (however irrelevant it seems) and set up a separate time to discuss the ‘real’ issue.

Have you experienced anything like a ‘boomerang apology’?  Can you suggest any other ways to improve communication, for situations like this?… especially for those of us who are ‘deficient a second X-chromosome’ 😉

Hubby

First Time Blogging

Tags

blog, blogging, communication, Goals, gratitude, growth, journalling, Relationship, thank you, thankfulness

Source: seeingthelighterside.com

Hi Everyone out there!

This is the first time I am writing directly on this blog. I think, for my “Hubby”, I have made his day and also made a small, but significant, dream of his come true! 😉

Although I haven’t been writing here from me directly, I have allowed my hubby to share things I’ve written or said to him. He has also been sharing with me what he writes here and has also been showing me other people’s posts when he has been inspired by them and feels it would be relevant for me to read too.

A few days ago, he shared the following post by Anxious Mom titled Your So Lucky. What she wrote sounded exactly like it could have come from me – about how lucky I am to have such an amazing, supportive, loyal, loving, dedicated husband who loves me unconditionally and would do anything in his power to help me and make our relationship work and be strong.

He has loved the phrase “perfectly imperfect” (or is being “imperfectly perfect” actually even better?!?)  ever since he first heard it and tells me and thinks I’m just that!

If you read Anxious Mom’s post, just know that everything she says is how I feel about my husband, and also describes what he does when I’m down (or up!) and, I’d just like to say, directly to him –

Hubby, I love you!
I appreciate you!
I thank you!

Lee

You’re So Lucky

Tags

blog, blogging, gratitude, growth, journalling, Relationship, thank you, thankfulness

What Anxious Mom wrote sounded exactly like it could have come from me – about how lucky I am to have such an amazing, supportive, loyal, loving, dedicated husband who loves me unconditionally and would do anything in his power to help me and make our relationship work and be strong.

He has loved the phrase “perfectly imperfect” (or is being “imperfectly perfect” actually even better?!?) ever since he first heard it and tells me and thinks I’m just that!

Just know that everything Anxious Mom said is how I feel about my husband, and also describes what he does when I’m down (or up!) and, I’d just like to say, directly to him –
Hubby, I love you!
I appreciate you!
I thank you!

Lee
ps See “First Time Blogging“, 21 Jan, for the full post, and please comment.
pps Hubby asked me to write, but didn’t tell me ‘what to write’ 😉

That's What Anxious Mom Said

Whenever I talk to someone about my husband, I’m often told how lucky I am.

“He cooks? Wow, you’re lucky.”

“He helps out with the kids? You’re so lucky.”

“He changes diapers [in public restrooms]? My husband would never. You don’t know how good you’ve got it.”

Those are just a few drops in the bucket of my perceived luckiness (or otherwise good fortune), but they’re fairly representative of the type of comments I’ve gotten over the years. Many of these comments make me question the standards some women have for their husbands. I don’t think it should be considered luck that my husband changes the diapers of the child he helped create or cooks some meals, as he eats, too.

(I also wonder whether people ever think that my husband is lucky to be married to me. Probably not. If I’m letting my husband do so much to help out, then he probably got…

View original post 704 more words

100+ Followers (Manic Monday Musings)

Tags

acceptance, Bipolar Disorder, blog, blogging, communication, Denial, gratitude, growth, journalling, Mental Health, thankfulness

 

Perfect timing. I realized that in my last couple of posts, I inferred that last week was negatively affected by a mild episode of hypomania (such as a delay in posting my Funny Friday post), so I thought it was time to focus of something positive. The WordPress stats office sent notification that our blog reached the 100-follower milestone. For new bloggers like me, these milestone ‘trophies’ provide encouragement and motivation to continue through the ‘crawling’ stage of a blog’s development. I appreciate everyone who has followed, read, liked, reblogged, and commented: this list obviously reflects increasing levels of appreciation! As often mentioned by fellow bloggers, followers are not the ultimate goal – connection with blogosphere friends (new and old) is the most meaningful.

While in the thankful mode, I really appreciate my wife’s support of this blog, which has grown steadily over the last couple months. Although she is yet to post directly, regularly, she is consistently suggesting things for me to share – it’s only a matter of time. I am especially thankful for the progress in her recovery, which is particularly apparent in the incredible shift from denial (which was the focus of this blog in those extremely difficult weeks in October 2015) to the gradual acceptance of a mood disorder diagnosis…

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An amazing example of this new openness and curiosity about her condition, happened just tonight.  After I shared a blog post about an inspirational couple who describe an uncanny similar situation to us, my wife showed me something she wrote in her diary today: “I love my husband and really appreciate him”.

I am not sharing this to ‘blow my own horn’, but as in intro into what came next.  Her short, simple validation of my efforts to live up to my role as soul mate brought me to the verge of tears.  This seemed to have touched her deeply,  prompting her to share the following profound thought (and gave me permission to share here):

As she reflected on her presumed bipolar disorder, she wondered whether it affects her perception of herself in relation to the normal/abnormal spectrum, to the point that everything she experiences may be a false reality.  She used the example of the premise of The Truman Show movie, in which the main character is unaware that he is living on a Hollywood film set, with everyone else in his life having insight about his ‘abnormal’ life circumstances.  My wife is contemplating whether her mood disorder is obvious to me and everyone around her, while she continues to live in relative obliviousness to the ‘abnormality’.

The conversation then flowed into the oft cited potential for creative brillance this condition is associated with.  My wife has that creative spark.  I reminded her of examples of fellow bipolar disorder sufferers such as Vincent Van Gogh, who’s painting The Starry Night,  depicted the view from his mental hospital in France.  At this time, sleep appropriately overcame my wife, before we could delve any deeper and I immediately set to work on this masterpiece of a post.  Hope you enjoyed – don’t forget to let me know 😉

The Starry Night: Vincent van Gogh

The Blogger Recognition Award

Tags

blog, blogging, Goals, gratitude, journalling, thank you, thankfulness

Thanks to Magarisa (Becoming Unstuck) for nominating me for The Blogger Recognition Award. She is a creative writer, poetry, fascinating fiction and deep contemplations. As a new blogger just like me, I relate to her uncertainty in entering the blogosphere, but also the catharsis relief that writing provides.

I appreciate her reblog of my ‘blogging therapy‘ concept post a month ago, which I haven’t forgotten about. 😀  Thanks to all those who expressed interest and volunteered to help.  Planning in-progress… updates soon.

Here are the guidelines for the award:

1. Select 15 other blogs you want to give the award to.
2. You cannot nominate yourself or the person who has nominated you.
3. Write a post to show your award.
4. Give a brief story of how your blog started.
5. Give a piece of advice or two to new bloggers.
6. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
7. Attach the award badge to the post (right click and save, then upload.)
8. Comment on each blog and let them know you have nominated them.
9. Provide a link to the original post on Edge of Night.

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How my blog started:

It’s funny how life works.  If it wasn’t for the intense crisis of depression with my wife, I would never have considered starting a blog.  As I briefly described in my  ‘Begin Again’ post, in my desperation to figure out how to hold my marriage and family together, I bought a number of bipolar disorder books, focussing on the partners role in support & recovery.  The first book I started reading, Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, Fast/Preston, strongly recommended journalling. So I decided to use blogging as my online journal, as I worked through the book’s exercises.

Even before this, when the depression crisis first became severe in July 2014, I discovered some research supporting the emotional health benefits of blogging.  This motivated me to initially setup the blog, with the intention of inviting my wife to contribute, so we could both share in the benefits. This is still a work-in-progress… but I do see movement.  She’s always keen to provide material for my Funny Friday posts!

Finally, if  I (a Family Physician with mental health training) have had such a hard time dealing with this crisis, I can only imagine how much harder it would be for other partners without that background.  As I hopefully navigate me and my wife through this incredible challenge, maybe my experiences may be able to help others.  Your comments, questions and feedback are always welcome.

Advice to new bloggers:

• “Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”  (Jon Acuff)
• It’s hard to come up with a truely unique tip for new bloggers, because so many experienced bloggers have already covered that.  But I guess this is the secret.  You are the unique part in this blogosphere world.  There is nobody with exactly your life experience and creativity. Just write whatever inspires you… anything.  Experiment with words, like you would with paints on a canvas.
• My biggest advice is set aside specific time for your ‘precious’ blogging. If you don’t feel blogging is precious yet, stick with it – you will!

My nominees:

There is no pressure to accept this award – except if you don’t, all those ‘bad things that happen when you don’t pass on a chain letter, shit…’   JOKING!!  It’s supposed to be fun, maybe provide a writing inspiration and share a little blogosphere-love around your blogosphere community!

My Child Within

mythoughts62

(not so) completely. miserable

The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

plotlessone.com

Katzenworld

bipolartohappiness

The Caffeinated Writer

debwashere

Silence The Ego

A Comedian’s Notebook

kidscrumbsandcrackers

fromthecsweet

living in stigma

newenglandnomad

Anonymity & pride for my new Gravatar

Tags

Anonymity, blog, blogging, Goals, gratitude, Gravatar, journalling

After nearly 3 months of blogging, I thought it was time to give a real ‘face’ to dialogueftdepths through the gravatar of bittersweet1976.

I thought about searching for stock photos of some pretty looking guys / gals and choosing one as our online identity. I even considered using a photo of my hand or back of my head. Then my 11 year old daughter sent me this drawing she did on computer.

I am so proud of this artistic creation, which was originally produced exactly as the half face that is depicted, with an amazing resemblance of my daughter and my wife – it was so perfect. My wife pointed out that using it creates a very slight risk of our daughter discovering our anonymous blog, but I think it’s worth the risk – what do you think?

This raises a common blogging dilemma. In some ways it would be easier to blog as my real self, being able to share more about my family and community, but then again, the ‘journalling’ experience would be dampened by a natural resistance to share deep, sensative thoughts and emotions with people in our everyday real life. This cathartic experience is a huge element of the benefits of blogging as therapy concept.

Based on this reasoning, unless there is an exceptional circumstance, I would think that new bloggers wanting the therapeutic benefits of more free emotional expression, start their blog with an anonymous identity. Removing anonymity can always be done in the future, but going from a true identity to anonymous, is obviously impossible without starting over.

NOTE: The bittersweet1976 username is now specific to Lee (wife) – From 1st January 2016, Hubby is using hubby1974, with sunset Gravatar, for his posts/comments. Sorry for any confusion.