Source: vagabondish.com & randomfunnypicture.com
Recently, my wife asked me whether I am running out of ideas for Funny Friday themes?
“Hell No!”, I replied (hence today’s theme about death)… LOL 😛
Seriously, I don’t think I can run out of ideas, because life is so interesting and every day brings plenty of inspiration. That being said, if you have any themes that would be appropriate for a Funny Friday post, please let me know in comment below. For a list of 10 topics I have already covered, see links below.
In truth, today’s death theme came from hearing that a routine followup chest X-ray, revealed a suspected recurrence of lung cancer, in a close family member. Also, perfectly timed, my blogosphere friend Claya Caper, wrote a relevant post about our mortality, which was extremely moving.
FOR JOKES, START HERE:
- Have you ever noticed that it’s only ‘perfect’ people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
“He was the perfect son” or “She was the perfect daughter.”
“Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family.”
“They died together, the perfect couple till the end.”
Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.
- I went into greeting card shop. I said to the woman behind the counter, “Do you sell bereavement cards?”
She said, “Yes, sir.”
So I said, “Could I get one, in exchange for this get well soon card I bought yesterday?”
[Don’t you just love those mother-in-law jokes!!]
The Bad Dog Which Killed Two Women
A man saw a most unusual funeral procession approaching a cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn’t stand the curiosity and asked the man walking the dog: “I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?”
“What happened to her?”
“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”
He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?”
The man answered, “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.”
A very touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men. Then the man asked,”Can I borrow the dog?”
The husband replied, “Get in line.”
Source: nativepakistan.com & jokideo.com
Two guys show up in Heaven at the same time. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy tells him that he died of a heart attack.
“How did that happen?” asks the first guy.
“Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife with another man. But when I searched the house, I couldn’t find anybody. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot.”
“Geez,” says the first guy. “If you’d opened the fridge, we’d both be alive right now.”
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. George Bernard Shaw
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. Jerry Seinfeld
Most people can’t bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity? Mark Twain
BELOW: If you are a movie fan, you might enjoy Leonardo Dicaprio talking about some near-death experiences. His most recent film, The Revenant (which I have yet to see), also contains a theme of death, too. Synopsis: A frontiersman on a fur trading expedition in the 1820s fights for survival after being mauled by a bear and left for dead by members of his own hunting team.
List of my first 10 Funny Friday posts: if you missed any of these, check them out now. Reminder: If you can suggest any themes that you’d like to see in a Funny Friday post, let me know in comments.
PMS is not Funny
Hypersexuality is not Funny
Cell phone addiction is not Funny
House cleaning is not Funny
OCD is not Funny
Hypomania is not Funny
Sleep deprivation is not Funny
Couple therapy is not Funny
Apologies are not Funny