Tags
acceptance, Bipolar Disorder, blogging, communication, condition, Depression, growth, hope, journalling, Mental Health, Relationship
Following on from yesterday’s open letter, Dear Hypomanic Wife (with basic attempt at poetry), I wanted to figure out a picture of what my wife is like when she’s stable, to compare to when she is in the other states of depression, anxiety and particularly hypomania. Numerous personal accounts from people suffering from bipolar disorder II, report that this process of self-discovery can take many, many years, so I realize that this is just the beginning…
When moods fluctuate rapidly and unpredictability, it puts alot of strain on any relationship. So the key question is What is the “Normal Lee” and What is the disorder? Fundamental issue for creating a holistic wellness plan.
Amazingly, I was able to plant a seed about this concept a couple days ago… it was a really interesting discussion. I actually framed it a little differently, posing the following question: what states / characteristics would she not miss, if we could magically remove ‘the condition’? This naturally led to the discussion, about what’s ‘the condition’ vs her normal personality (below), but it wasn’t surprising: we wouldn’t miss the periods of intense depression, anxiety and paranoia about social triggers (obviously). Also, she wouldn’t mind being less unfocussed, ‘floaty’ or excessively impulsive, which has commonly led to shame or embarrassment afterwards and less irritable / reactive with family tension situations.
Dialogue from the Depths 
I have nominated you for this award 🙂
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Amazing. Thank you. Forgot to thank you for the special description of our blog that you did for The Blogger Recognition Award.
I find it particularly interesting that I seem to get these nominations immediately after a difficult day/s. I have a feeling that the blogosphere is ‘hearing’ our individual cries for help & sending the support that is needed.
BTW – your insights, that I reblogged, may have saved my marriage from huge amounts of tension, thanks again.
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You welcome. I am glad that I could help in such a way! 🙂 I also completely agree with the nominations. The timing of mine is also perfect!
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I think that’s the Holy Grail with this illness. What is “normal”? For me, it’s hard to pinpoint because every time I get to “normal” it’s basically just a low level hypomania that leads to disaster.
I’m so proud of you for looking into this so meticulously. I have a huge Excel spreadsheet that tracks all my moods, medications, menstruation, sleep, and any notes from the day. This list you have is awesome. I hope that you find that sweet spot.
Not to sound preachy but the illness and its symptoms are based on personality. How much of us are our disease is also something to think of. It could very well be a lot. If Lee won’t kill me I’m going to leave a link in my next comment. She doesn’t have to read it but just something I found really poignant and relevant to this conversation.
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Hey Jess, thanks so much for reading and commenting. You are not sounding ‘preachy’ – your insights are incredibly helpful. The symptoms are extremely individualized based on personality, as you described, but once ‘normal’ is clarified, then episodes apparently seem to follow a predictable pattern that can be tracked and eventually modulated.
My wife is yet to start such self-tracking that you describe – hopefully soon. From your comment, it seems you would be looking for ways to keep yourself from progressing from that low level hypomania. If the medication isn’t enough yet, I wonder what else might be helpful?
That article you linked to is very relevant and perfect for where Lee is holding at the moment. Today was a tough day for us, but your comment helped more than I can describe.
Thanks again, take care.
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http://bipolar.newlifeoutlook.com/accepting-bipolar-disorder/?utm_source=Pinterest&utm_medium=Social&utm_content=Article_Share
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