Missed Me?

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I’m back… I hope.

I have been ‘away’, very busy, difficult to find time to write… but I must.  It’s healthy. It’s important.  But breaks are good too. I started writing this post almost 3 weeks ago.

I know you haven’t missed me (except maybe Jess).  You are also busy with living life, too… right?

So here’s are pictorial story of what I have been up to

I have been learning to sail a yacht like these:

We were out at sea every day for 3-4 hours, even in conditions like this:

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Actually, the ocean swell was not quite this high, but there was at least one wave that broke over us – wet, wet, wet (like in the “Yacht in Storm” video at the bottom).

This was all part of a 12-month course to become one of these:

skipcapt…and there was a final Skipper exam…

.

..

AND I PASSED!!! 😉   😀    So if you get to bottom of this post, you can enjoy the Gilligan’s Island theme song/intro, as part of my celebration.

sailing-yacht-and-tropical-storm-ana-outflow-dustin-k-ryan

Source: This is a beautiful ‘sunset’ pic from the bow of a yacht.

The rest of the sunset pics below were taken by me during one of the lessons.  I hope you enjoy…

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Love is NOT Funny (Friday)

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Source: funnymeme.com

Firsly, I am currently feeling a bit run down from a mild sinus infection, so it’s a little hard to ‘feel’ the humor – I hope you find something funny. 😉  There was lots to choose from, especially humorous quotes – which inspired me to create my own quote:

If you laugh at life, life will give you more to laugh at.

After a quick search online, I didn’t find that anyone else had ‘said’ this before (please correct me, if I’m wrong).

Today’s theme, obviously comes from the recent LOVE poetry, that has been flowing from me and my wife.

Finally, when I looked back on earlier posts in this Not Funny© series, I noticed they have got longer and longer… which might be okay if you they’re funny, or you’re bored, but I will try keep it more succinct… next week. 😛

Source: humminglove.com, thefunnyplace.org & bajiroo.com

This first joke, is a good addition to last week’s Funny Friday post: Sex jokes is NOT Funny

  • A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, “Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn’t five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!” The doctor says, “I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.” “Nah,” she says, “that’s okay. We’re never going back to that restaurant anyway.”
  • Wife: “How would you describe me?”
    Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
    Wife: “What does that mean?”
    Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
    Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
    Husband: “I’m just kidding!”
  • A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
Source: laughfactory.com
Source: funnymeme.com, rishikajain.com & askideas.com
  • You’re like my asthma – you take my breath away.
    Like dandruff – I can’t get you off my head.
    Like my car – you drive me crazy.
    Like dentures – I can’t smile without you.
  • You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
  • Never laugh at your partner’s choices… you’re one of them.
  • Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
  • Never break someone’s heart because they have only one inside…break their bones because they have 206 of them.
  • I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
Source:  greatcleanjokes.comonelinefun.com
Source: askideas.com

QUOTES:

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Source: sayingimages.com, & imgfave.com
  • Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.  Richard Jeni
  • Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. – George Burns
  • The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather loved in spite of ourselves. – Victor Hugo
Source: yourtango.com & hdquotespics.com

LASTLY, a couple of videos – Have a great weekend!

 

WARNING – lots of swearing/cursing… don’t watch if you don’t like the F – word.

 

L.O.V.E. & P.O.E.T.R.Y.

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Source: quotesblog.net

Message from Lee, which inspired Hubby’s poetic reply (below):

I really appreciate you and I feel so proud of my ability to share these things with you and be willing and able to discuss them with you in a calm and loving, sharing way without reacting or feeling threatened or controlled or criticised or told what to do. I also feel proud that I can hear, value, and even more – WANT your opinion and know that I can still have my own and still make my own decision.  I am proud of “us” that we had the conversation that we did this morning, in the WAY that we did. I do believe that we are given these dilemmas and challenges for a reason, and I know that the most important one was to practice and succeed in our communication as we demonstrated this time.


From Hubby:

L etter

O f

V oluptuous

E cstasy

 

Me writing poetry is quite a feat,

So if you are ready to hear, pull up a seat.

I challenged myself to find words that are succinct,

To express the extent to which I feel we are linked.

 

Our talk this morning didn’t last very long,

But making the most of every opportunity, is never wrong.

I too, am proud of your ability to share,

It’s important to acknowledge it didn’t come from nowhere.

 

See that we’ve worked hard to learn how to talk,

It’s a bit like babies learning to walk.

The WAY we conversed was inspirational indeed,

Gives such confidence that we’re certain to succeed.

 

We don’t need to wait for misunderstandings to write,

Poetry can be appropriate everyday or night.

In summary, I am ecstatic that we’ve removed the ‘boxing glove’,

As a result we’ve found lots and lots of LOVE.  ❤ ❤ ❤


P.O.E.T.R.Y

By Lee Sweet ©

P lace
O f
E xpression
T o
R eveal
Y ourself


 

Therapy Tuesday

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Since I missed a ‘Manic Monday’ post this week, I thought about trying a ‘Therapy Tuesday’, as replacement.

You know that a therapist is very good, when you’re actually looking forward to seeing them, every week.

This is what my wife said to me recently!  The insights that I have been writing about the last few weeks, have mainly come from couple therapy with a new therapist that has a background in Gestalt psychology, Imago and art therapy.  Today, we had our latest session – pretty intense, as usual. Probably need a few days to process before writing about it.

Just wanted to thank everyone who read, Liked and Commented on our recent poetry post.  When I started this blog, I never imagined that writing poetry would be such an awesome challenge – my wife really received it so positively.  But it is a little tiring, so recently when we had a minor misunderstanding, I appealed to my wife to let me try explain verbally, so I didn’t have to write another poem, so soon!! 😉

Finally for today, I just want to share a small selection of ‘reminders to self’, that we took from our previous couple therapy work.

Tools to take home (from ‘old’ couple therapy)

  • Weekly Date Night – something fun, turn off phones.
  • Communication tips: avoiding mind reading, avoiding ‘you’ statements.  Use “I feel…” , without attack or blame.
  • In repeated tension situations, set up agreements and stick to them:  e.g. when driving together, driver does not get told advice unless s/he asks, and no cell phone use during ride, without express okay of partner.
  • Difficult times will pass – ride it through, don’t resist (resistance is futile)

 

 

Not Funny© Series

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List of my Not Funny© Funny Friday posts: if you missed any of these, check them out now.

Reminder: If you can suggest any themes that you’d like to see in a Funny Friday post, let me know in comments.

  1. Funny Friday
  2. PMS is not Funny
  3. Hypersexuality is not Funny
  4. Cell phone addiction is not Funny
  5. House cleaning is not Funny
  6. OCD is not Funny
  7. Hypomania is not Funny
  8. Sleep deprivation is not Funny
  9. Couple therapy is not Funny
  10. Apologies are not Funny
  11. Death is not Funny
  12. Poetry is not Funny
  13. Divorce is not Funny
  14. Sex jokes are not Funny
  15. Love is not Funny

 

Share A Poem On Ink and Quill

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Special thanks to Jacqui for this Share a Poem, reblogging opportunity… she’s a true lover of poetry and an excellent new blogging networker… check her out, especially is you have poetry to share.
ALSO, if you missed my wife’s awesome poetry reply to me, please read and let us know what you thought.
https://dialogueftdepths.wordpress.com/2016/03/02/im-yours-response-to-tides-vs-waves/

Jennifer Calvert Author

quillShare a link here of your favourite poem/s, which you have written or a poem written by a fellow poet. Or both!

A poem/s which may have moved you, or are close to your heart. A poem, you thought about, long after you finished reading it.

I will repost all links.

As you are probably aware. I love poetry. So I can’t wait to read and share your links.

Please feel free to reblog this post!

I want to support my fellow bloggers, by sharing their work.

A small way of saying I appreciate you.

View original post

Featured Bloggers 3/4/16: How to Blog Network

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Thanks to Danny for including us in Featured Bloggers list on Friday. What a wonderful idea to help discover new blogs and spread the blogosphere love around. He has great general tips for success in life, and specifically for new bloggers… check him out.

ALSO, if you missed my wife’s awesome poetry reply to me, please read and let us know what you thought.

I’m Yours: Response to Tides vs Waves

THANKS

Is Not Wasted

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Thanks to new blogger Un Break My Heart (poem below) for reblogging my post Dear Hypomanic Wife (first attempt at a poetic message to her) and my wife’s spontaneous reply.

Check out my wife’s next poetic creation, which was even better – let us know what you thought. Cheers

This day is not wasted. There are clouds going by in a teal blue sky. This day is not wasted. There are birds overhead, soaring high. This day is not  wasted.  Ther’s a table set from whence to look afar of the blue skies  and the deep blue seas beneath the horizon.

This day is not wasted…

MORE, click below.

Source: Is Not Wasted

Sex jokes are NOT Funny (Friday)

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Source: quickmeme.com

Firstly, have you read my wife’s latest poetic reply to me??  I’m Yours: Response to Tides vs Waves

Do not read any further until you check out this link and let us know what you think  😉  , please…

… then I’ll share with you how Laughter can Improve Your Sex Life

Laughter through humor and ‘ laughter yoga’ are separate themes, that I’ll explore in more detail later, but for now… a summary of how laughing at today’s post might help you in bed tonight. 😉 😉 (wink, wink)

Summary: Laughter reduces stress and anxiety, relaxing the bedroom mood. In ‘laughter clubs’, they recommend starting with pretend laughs, until real ones come.  This ‘fake it till we make it’ approach can help with sex too sometimes.  Practice makes perfect, for laughing and achieving sexual satisfaction. Laughter promotes increased neuropathways in your body, enhancing pleasurable sensations.  Despite what you might think, you don’t always have to be in the mood before you do something.  Sometimes, we can start with the action (laughing or sex) and the mood will follow.

Source: boldomatic.comjokesoftheday.net

Hypersexuality is NOT Funny, was one of the first posts in this Not Funny © series.  It was short and relevant to that time.  This post is connected to the increased intimacy recently between me and my wife – maybe all the ‘intimate’ poetry has something to do with it, too.

Sex Sells, so let me try ‘sell’ you some jokes/memes to make you smile, or preferably laugh. 😀 😀 😀


A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, “Mum, what’s sex?” His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, “Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?”

The doctor thoroughly examines the stuttering man and pronounces the root of the problem to be the man’s gigantic penis causing strain on the vocal chords from the effects of gravity being transmitted up to the neck area. The patient then asks, “wh-wh-at c-c-ca-an b-b-e d-d-done ab-b-bout- t-t i-i- t?” to which the doctor replies, “We can replace your penis with one of normal size and the stuttering will disappear right after the operation.” As promised his stuttering dissapears, but 3 months later the patient complains: “My wife really misses a big penis so I’ve decided to get my old one back and live with stuttering for the rest of my life.” The doctor then looks straight at the man and replies, “c-c-can’t!! a d-d- de-deal’s a d-d-deal.”

Being that I’m a physician, I really enjoyed this doctor-themed one

Source: psychologyhelp.com
Source: funnyjunk.compinterest.com

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop from a gypsy, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust line forty four”.
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says “Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!”.
Again, there’s a bright flash…and his legs fall off.

Source: jokes4us.com

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  • Wife: Honey, I’m naked and the dog is loose in the front yard!
    Husband: No problem, I’ll be right up!
  • A man came home early from work and was greeted by his wife who was dressed in sexy lingerie and heels. “Tie me up and you can do anything you want!” she said. So he tied her up and went golfing.
Source: esmartass.com
Source: theredheadriter.com

I laughed with tears, with this one…

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.” That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, “Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air.”

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.” Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?” The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

Source: laughfactory.com

QUOTES:

Source: bekkysworld.wordpress.com, jarofquotes.comazquotes.com

And finally, this is the most important part of the respected Mayo Clinic psychometric test.

In the following pictures you see women with a range of
facial expressions.  Study the expressions, and try to imagine what is taking place?

Then scroll down to see the answer…

pic1

 

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They are all about to sneeze

pic2

Source: tizona.wordpress.com

Congratulations for making it to the end of this marathon joke post.  Let me know what you thought…. and have a wonderful weekend!