L.O.V.E. & P.O.E.T.R.Y.

Tags

appreciation, gratitude, growth, journalling, love, poetry, pride, Relationship, thankfulness

 

Source: quotesblog.net

Message from Lee, which inspired Hubby’s poetic reply (below):

I really appreciate you and I feel so proud of my ability to share these things with you and be willing and able to discuss them with you in a calm and loving, sharing way without reacting or feeling threatened or controlled or criticised or told what to do. I also feel proud that I can hear, value, and even more – WANT your opinion and know that I can still have my own and still make my own decision.  I am proud of “us” that we had the conversation that we did this morning, in the WAY that we did. I do believe that we are given these dilemmas and challenges for a reason, and I know that the most important one was to practice and succeed in our communication as we demonstrated this time.

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From Hubby:

L etter

O f

V oluptuous

E cstasy

 

Me writing poetry is quite a feat,

So if you are ready to hear, pull up a seat.

I challenged myself to find words that are succinct,

To express the extent to which I feel we are linked.

 

Our talk this morning didn’t last very long,

But making the most of every opportunity, is never wrong.

I too, am proud of your ability to share,

It’s important to acknowledge it didn’t come from nowhere.

 

See that we’ve worked hard to learn how to talk,

It’s a bit like babies learning to walk.

The WAY we conversed was inspirational indeed,

Gives such confidence that we’re certain to succeed.

 

We don’t need to wait for misunderstandings to write,

Poetry can be appropriate everyday or night.

In summary, I am ecstatic that we’ve removed the ‘boxing glove’,

As a result we’ve found lots and lots of LOVE.  ❤ ❤ ❤

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P.O.E.T.R.Y

By Lee Sweet ©

P lace
O f
E xpression
T o
R eveal
Y ourself

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One Lovely Blog Award

Tags

Awards, blog, blogging, Blogging Awards, communication, Goals, gratitude, growth, journalling, one lovely blog award, thank you

I really appreciate MyChildWithin for nominating us for this One Lovely Blog Award.  Her posts are always incredibly insightful and extremely helpful, particularly for anyone dealing with a Narcissistic family member.

It’s been nearly a month since I wrote an award post for The Blogger Recognition Award, and I haven’t yet changed my view… Blog awards evoke a variety of feelings for different bloggers.  I choose to focus on the positive aspects: sharing the love and appreciation of fellow bloggers.  One idea I read recently, was to select nominations from the most recent wordpress notifications – makes alot of sense actually, so I tried it this time.

1. Thank the person that nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
2. List the rules.
3. Display the award on your post of the award.
4. List seven facts about yourself.
5. Nominate 15 bloggers for this award and comment on one of their posts to let them know you have nominated them.

Seven facts About Us:

1. Blogging anonymously, makes it a little difficult to share too many personal facts 😉
2. We love listening to music by Billy Joel.
3. I love making soups (tomato, carrot, lentil, chicken) and my wife loves eating them!
4. I enjoy watching movies, especially comedy or thrillers. My wife recently acquired the passion for a good movie shared together, too.  As my last post mentioned, The Lobster was the most recent one we watched – which was really weird.
5. We both love icecream – I prefer boring vanilla with hardened chocolate topping, my wife’s favorite choc-mint.
6. I am considering the idea of writing a book, but I don’t know what I should write about  😛
7. Our son recently got his drivers license, after a number of attempts (very proud) and he did most of the driving on our ski day trip!

My nominations:

Ink and Quill

A certain point of view

My name is trouble

All Thoughts Work Outdoors

Charlotte Wessels

The Turtle Way

Colette B

That’s what anxious mom said

Paul Thomas Bell

Itsallbuki

My Sweet Nothings

Don Massenzio

Jgoodwithsports

BentonLove

Filosofa’s Word

Insert Title Here (Manic Monday Musings)

Tags

blogging, communication, growth, journalling, Mental Health, movie review, Relationship, The Lobster

It’s been some time since I wrote about denial, depression or dysphoric mania. Thankfully, we are experiencing a relatively stable period, which has allowed for us to reconnect as a couple in a really special way. My wife recently reflected on how she felt similar to when we first started ‘going out’ – how we lay in each others arms all day & night, not wanting to sleep, eat or go to university. This condition, which might be classified as being ‘lovesick’, was one the factors that led us to defer our studies and travel the world together – me 22 years old and my wife to-be only 20 yo. We got engaged 2 months into our pre-honeymoon, and then returned home 5 months later, got married (shortly after wife’s 21st B’day) and then left again for another 6 months overseas.

I digressed – my focus was on the sensation of riding the current wave of intimate connection, while feeling some mild uncertainty about when the wave may crash. I am not as worried about it this as before, because I confident that we have the tools and resources to get through any rough seas that may be ahead. Compared to 6 months ago, I feel my wife’s mood has stabilized through combination of medications, therapy and self-education, while I have worked on my own communication and stress issues, finding helpful advice and support from this blog, as well as from a close friend.

Another reason I am less worried, is that we have worked on getting perspective on what’s really important in our relationship and for our family in general.  Everyday, there are tragedies with traffic accidents, murders and illness – sorry to sound so grim… but I am sure we all would accept our partners’ annoying moods or bad habits, over losing them completely.  😦

This is one of the messages I took from the weird, satirical depiction of relationships, in the film The Lobster.  I am not surprised by the number of reviews analyzing this truely strange, black comedy, which was actually a little disturbing in parts.  I enjoyed the superficial humor and my wife and I both found interesting aspects, that triggered deeper reflection on our relationship.  I find it amusing that singles and couples both seem to find support for them to continue their current status.  It’s been quite some time since we’ve seen a movie that had this sort of affect – highly recommended! 😉

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Note about Title of this post:  I find that coming up with an appropriate title, is one of the most interesting ‘challenges’ of writing a post.  Today, nothing was coming to me, hence my Insert Title Here.  Just curious – does anyone have any good tips for coming up with catchy post Titles??

Oh… and check out my latest Poetry is NOT Funny post, if you missed it.

Pride and Growth

Tags

Goals, Grateful, gratitude, growth, help, hope, journalling, love, Relationship, thank you

Image: riseearth.com

Poetry inspired by chat with wife this morning

What are you thinking,
You say do not know.
I ask again for you to share,
because this is no show.

Slowly the words begin to flow,
from I don’t know where.
You share much about your work,
I really DO care.

Now you have so much to say
when can I respond.
I hear a potential opportunity,
I really don’t wish to abscond.

But I say something wrong,
or at least not quite right.
Thankfully, I was relieved
it did not start a fight.

You tell me after,
what you needed to hear.
I appreciate this greatly,
because it’s not always clear.

So instead of repeating,
exactly what you said to me.
I thought about rhyming it,
So you would really, really see…

I am proud of you, with all that you do,
with teaching drama, house cleaning and being Mom,
No matter which shoes.

I see the growth in your confidence,
and stronger organisational skills.
Especially the connection between us
really gives me the thrills.

Let me finish by saying
how much I love you.
It can’t be said too much
Because it’s so true.

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Source: quotesgram.com & quoteaddicts.com

Now I know what tomorrow’s theme for Funny Friday will be: Poetry is NOT Funny (preview below)

Source: whisper.sh

A Must Read Tag-along Poem Cooked By All Of Us… Tuesday Trivia

Tags

blog, blogging, communication, humor, journalling, love, Relationship, thankfulness, Valentines Day

Well, here it is… The tag-along poem you’ve all been waiting for. Special thanks Jacqueline for arranging the exercise and hosting the party too.

I am constantly amazed at the new & creative ways to bring the blogosphere to ‘life’, promoting connection, love and support.

a cooking pot and twisted tales

acookingpotandtwistedtales

Her eyes shone with tears

That clung to her lashes

She glanced at the ring

It’s twinkles brought back flashes

 Seeking you first

She knew in her heart,

she’d never forget this day.

The emotions she felt,

overwhelming- in a way.

Gradmama

–blue shoes and sashes 

 Melinda Kucsera

she knew where the stash is–

of chocolates liquor splashed,

frosted with white slashes… 

Elihu

Memories were there

Of Love and of laughter

A future there too

Of happily ever after 

Oba Kingsoracle

At last, he said it

It seemed like forever

But here and now

Her heart for him to keep

Forever.

Writersdream9

She was anticipating all the joy he would bring 

Sarah C

As the band struck a tune….

was it too soon?

the cat crossed their path quickly

And then it was time for giggling 

Noirfifre

She spent all that time, years

she would never…

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Epiphany

Tags

Goals, growth, hope, journalling, love, Mental Health, reblog, Relationship, Valentines Day

In the spirit of the Valentine’s Day weekend, I have reblogged one of my first posts, an attempt at poetry/prose, written to my wife during the depths of our depression 1.5 years ago. This post also relates to yesterday’s Death is not Funny post and explains my blog’s tagline: Make Sweetness from the Bitterness.

Thanks to Jacqueline for the Valentines inspiration and wonderful idea for poem tag. Here’s my contribution:
The really special thing
About our love is this
When your not in my arms
Your pheromones I constantly miss!

Dialogue from the Depths

thoughts inspired by Noah – Biblical and the modern movie version

read it slowly – then read it again.

in reference to the destruction of the world by water…
what will it look like? it feels like the end of everything. no.  its the beginning of everything!

all beginnings come after something has finished. an ending. this ending feels scary. it is scary. the unknown. but faith / emunah can be found. after night comes day. after darkness comes light. the night is darkest, just before the light. after bitterness comes sweetness.

just like the pain of childbirth, definitely also a struggle for the fetus. the pressure of labor must feel like the beginning of the end, but it turns out to be the beginning of the beginning. the end of something becomes the beginning of something better. something sweeter.  this pressure, this pain must be part of transition. growth…

View original post 230 more words

Opportunity cost, Opportunity lost

Tags

growth, journalling, Relationship

So much has happened since I started writing this, but I’ll try get this idea out, before starting an update on the next development…

I enjoyed economics in high school, but I never really used much of what I learned (and rapidly forgot).  The only exception is the concept of Opportunity Cost.

Definition: Opportunity cost is the value of something that is lost because you choose an alternative course of action.

I am sure it has important consequences for economic analysis, but ironically I wouldn’t be able to explain that anymore.  The significance for me, is in its application as principle to evaluation the ‘trade-off’ for choosing anything in life, such as how we spend our money, or particularly how we spend our time.  The most challenging dilemma for most working couples, is how to balance time working, with family time.

The opportunity cost principle is most easily seen in the relative value of lost family time when deciding to work an extra evening, or going out to pub/poker with mates. This universal struggle to get the right balance was not the main reason I introduced this opportunity cost concept.

As I try navigate the wild waters of my wife’s moods, I am beginning to notice some repeated patterns. Since the depression last year tore into the weak spots of our relationship, my wife has developed the default mindset that I am unhappy with everything she does. This then means that she is reluctant to discuss anything that she’s thinking or considering doing, because she ‘knows’ I’m not going to like it – makes sense, because who wants to hear negativity all the time. The problem with this is that my opinion isn’t as she assumes and this causes a distance between us which seems to be getting larger and larger.

I tried to address some of this when I wrote Dear Hypomanic Wife, because I noticed the busier and ‘faster’ she gets, the more she shuts me out, because of fears that I won’t approve of her choices. On those rare occasions when she does manage to include me in her life, she introduces the discussion with the feeling that she knows I won’t like it, but she’s doing it anyway. As I describe this, I am thinking it sounds so dysfunctional, I am surprised it hasn’t completely torn us apart.

The main insight I realized over the weekend is that most marriages present many opportunities each day to share in each others lives. These shared feelings/thoughts/decisions represent opportunities to grow together. If fear or insecurity leads to not discussing and consulting with each other, the result is more than just a lost growth opportunity – the tension & distancing causes an injury to the relationship bond. And that specific chance to strengthen the shared relationship connection can never come again. In this context, I feel that opportunities to share in each others lives are helpful if fulfilled, but harmful if avoided – never really ‘neutral’. This makes it so important to figure this out, as quick as possible. After couple therapy today, there is so much more I have to share… more to come, soon.

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Apology: if you’re a new follower to this blog, and weren’t expecting such a rambling (especially the intro), I’m sorry. If you relate, disagree or just confused, don’t be shy – comment below.

This blog has been healing..

Tags

blog, blogging, growth, journalling, Mental Health, reblog

I sometimes write about how healing blogging has been for me, too.
If you haven’t read my latest Funny Friday post, please do    😉

my child within

Ever since I joined a couple of support groups for my anxiety awhile back and now for my recovery from trauma, narcissistic abuse and others, I have found it immensely helpful.

What I didn’t realise was how healing it has been for me to have this blog and my facebook support page. I have not only shared my feelings & struggles, but also supported others. This is so valuable! People are made to reach out and connect with others and it is so lovely to see many others do the same. This community of bloggers who share posts about mental health and their own struggles, reduces the stigma and provides incredible validation.

Thank you to all my followers, those I follow and the many many other blogs I haven’t even discovered yet.

❤ to you all

View original post

Apologies are NOT Funny (Friday)

Tags

blog, brave, condition, Grateful, growth, humor, journalling, Relationship, thankfulness

To followup from yesterday, I realize that without the details of a specific apology, it would be difficult to fully understand.  For now, that’s all I could share and I appreciate the comments. 😉

Maybe some of these jokes/memes will give greater insights, for us all!

 

Source: bobbiblogger.wordpress.com

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Source: ghantafun.com & funnypictures.pk

• Teacher: What do you call a person who apologizes if he has committed a mistake ?
  Boy: An honest man.
  Teacher: Good. And what do you call a person who apologizes even if he has committed no mistake ?
  Boy: A Boyfriend (or Husband!)

 

• There once was a girl who wasn’t feeling very pretty so she went to a genie to make her pretty.
  The genie told her that to make her feel pretty, he would make it so that every time someone apologized to her her boobs would increase by one size.
  So the girl is walking down the street and someone bumps into her and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,” and the woman’s boobs went up one size.
  Then someone accidentally stepped on her foot and said, “I’m sorry,” and her boobs got one size bigger.
  Then she’s walking down the street and a man from India bumps into her and says, “Oh my god! A thousand apologies!”

Source: jokebuddha.com & jokes4us.com

Source: smsfriendssms.blogspot.co.il

This reminded me of a joke in my first Funny Friday post.

Source: someecards.com

Source: imagefully.com

GREAT APOLOGY TIPS

In researching today’s post, I discovered a really great website for apologizing DOs and DONTs.  When you next need to apologize to someone, you might find it helpful.  Finally, I thought these last two pics were a cute way to end – there is nothing like makeup sex, as an apology, right?!

Source: someecards.com & coltmonday.wordpress.com

Reply to Dear Hypomanic Wife

Tags

blogging, communication, growth, hope, journalling, poetry, Relationship

Reply to Dear Hypomanic Wife.  If you haven’t read it yet, read it first.

Made me cry,
Not sure why.
Need some time,
To respond online (or at all…)

In the meantime,
I love you all the time.
No need to be afraid of my reaction,
There will be some positive interaction.

It may get confusing,
But don’t feel we’re losing.
We will talk it through,
And see it through, too.

Thanks for keeping me in your world
We will find from the oyster the shining pearl!